So here are the
characteristics of REAL love:
1. Love means letting go of
expectations.
Sure, we all want people to
behave the way we want
them to. We want them to be
more affectionate. Or more
outgoing. Or smarter. Or
more ambitious. All of these
things are expectations.
Expectations are just your
requirements for
“acceptability” of loving
someone. But true love has
no expectations. It simply
loves “as is.”
2. Love doesn’t play the
victim role or blame others.
Love doesn’t think others are
“out to get them.” Love
doesn’t think their loved
ones are wrong. Love works
together. It takes
responsibility. It forgives and
allows other people’s actions
to be their journey. Love
doesn’t take things
personally.
3. Love includes letting go.
Love doesn’t equal
possession. Just as the
saying goes, “If you love
something, set it free. If it
comes back, it’s yours. If it
doesn’t, then it never was.”
There is truth to that. Love
allows people their freedom.
It doesn’t hold tightly and
crush their wings in attempt
to keep them. True love
doesn’t want to possess. It is
willing to set you free if you
want to be.
4. Love doesn’t require you
to continue a relationship.
You may love someone very
much, but you may not be
compatible with them. Or
they may drive you crazy
with their continued
disregard for your feelings.
You can still love them, but
that doesn’t mean you have
to be with them. Love
doesn’t mean that you have
to stay, and stay and stay.
You can leave the
relationship and love them
anyway.
5. Love has no room for
jealousy.
Like possession, jealousy
doesn’t equal love. We think
that if we’re not jealous of
our loved ones that it means
that we don’t love them.
True love has confidence in
the quality of the
relationship. It knows that
the other person is happy
and content coming back to
you and only you.
6. Love is the absence of
fear.
You can put all emotions on
a continuum. On one end,
you have love. Then
appreciation. After that, it’s
joy, happiness, contentment
and satisfaction. On the
opposite end of the
continuum of love is fear.
Other fear-based emotions
include, hatred, insecurity,
jealousy or greed.
7. Love is not needing and
wanting.
One of the things we try to
teach kids is that there is a
clear difference between a
want and a need. Needing
someone is a feeling based
in fear. You fear that you
can’t live without them, so
you need them. And
remember, fear is the
opposite of love. Wanting
someone in your life gives
them the freedom to leave,
but still shows them you love
them.
8. Love is an action, not just
a feeling.
Humans tend to be addicted
to intense emotion —
especially when it feels good.
So, when we’re in love, we
want to feel that way
forever. But guess what?
That higher than “Cloud 9″
feeling goes away after a
while. That doesn’t mean
you don’t love the other
person anymore, it just
means that it’s not new
anymore. So that’s where the
action needs to kick in. Show
the person you love them.
Don’t just assume they
know.
9. Love is unconditional.
The word ‘unconditional’
means that there are no
expectations or limitations
set. To love unconditionally is
a difficult thing, and most
humans aren’t good at that.
But true love really does love
without trying to change the
other person.
10. Love means putting
other people’s needs equal
to — or before — your own.
While people may be
inherently selfish for survival
purposes, this does not
serve us well in
relationships. If you don’t
put other people’s needs at
least equal to your own, they
will grow resentful. Real love
truly, genuinely cares about
other people’s happiness
and will go to great lengths
to make people feel valued.
11. Love is the highest
vibration emotion that there
is.
Science has proven that
emotions like love and fear
have very different
vibrations. They can actually
measure them. Love vibrates
very fast, whereas fear-
based emotions (think
jealousy, possessiveness,
hatred, greed, etc.) vibrate
very slowly. When you love
completely and
unconditionally, there is no
fear involved. The vibrations
of love make you feel good
at all times.
12. Love requires attention.
Love doesn’t ignore. It
doesn’t look the other way.
It wants to be present and
be together. When people
are in love, sometimes they
think that they don’t have to
“do any more work.” But
real love actually enjoys
giving attention to another
person. It feels good, and
doesn’t see giving attention
to another person as a
chore.
13. Love understands and
accepts differences.
Let’s face it: We’re all
different. Even identical
twins aren’t exactly the
same. They have different
experiences and outlooks
about the world. Real love
doesn’t make other people
wrong for being different.
When people truly love
another person, they accept
their differences.
14. Love varies in how it is
expressed and accepted.
What makes us “feel loved”
varies. In the book The Five
Love Languages by Gary
Chapman, he explains the
different ways people give
and receive love: (1) Words
(2) Acts of Service, (3) Giving
Gifts, (4) Spending Time
Together and (5) Touch. It’s
important to discover other
people’s love language so
you can understand each
other and give love in a way
that the other person
recognizes it.
15. Love makes you feel
good, not bad.
Many people confuse being
in a relationship with love.
Just because you’re in a
relationship doesn’t mean
there is true love present. If
there is jealousy,
possessiveness, constant
fighting, abuse (verbal,
emotional or physical), that
is not love. Refer back to #6.
Those are fear-based
emotions and actions.
16. Love has empathy.
Empathy is the ability to put
yourself into another
person’s shoes and see a
situation from his/her point
of view. Love has deep
empathy. “When you hurt, I
hurt.” People who truly love
one another don’t want to
hurt them. They want them
to feel good. They care about
their feelings and try
everything they can to make
them feel valued and worthy.
Remember, love is
happiness, appreciation and
feeling good. Anything other
than that is not love. If we all
loved one another as
ourselves, the world would
be a better place!
Source: huffpost.com [hupso]
