1. I visited my wicked teacher and he asked me
to polish his shoes. I went to the living room
and found his two daughters sitting and
relaxing. I told them their dad wanted me to
have sex with them. They insisted he won't say
that so I shouted; *Sir, both of them? He said
yes.* That is when I had my revenge
2.*Your boyfriend dumped u 2 weeks before his
wedding, Baby don't feel sad . at least u made
it to semi finals *
3. A man was angry with his wife, so he sends a
message to d father-in-law
"Your product is not matching my requirements"
The father-in-law replies
"Warranty expired
Manufacturer is not responsible after seal is
broken"
Who wins?
4.When a man marries the wrong woman, the
devil leaves him alone because he is finished
already.
5.Some people prefer their relationship to spoil
than their street transformer
6. Drinking alot of water can help you mind your
business because you could spend most of your
time urinating instead of gossiping.
7. Always be honest. A woman walks into a
butcher's shop just before closing time and
asks, "Do you have any chicken?"
The butcher opens his fridge, takes out his only
chicken and puts it on the weighing scales. It
weighs 1.5 kg.
The woman looks at the chicken and at the
scales and asks, "Do you have one that's a bit
bigger than this one, please?"
The butcher puts the chicken back into the
fridge and then takes it out again, but this time
when he puts it on the scales he craftily keeps
his thumb on the scale pan. The scales now
show 2 kg.
"That's wonderful," says the woman. "I'll take
both of them, please!"
8. *TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN*
Some Girls Are Not Looking For a Relationship,
They're Just Looking For Dataship, Airtimeship,
Foodship, Walletship and moneyship.
9. Stop taking pictures in people's cars and at
people's gates,
your village people will kill you for nothing
thinking you have made it in life
10.Difficult to understand these business
models.
Cigarette companies kill their best customers ...
and
Condom companies restrict their future
customers !!
11. Dancing with a fat girl is like moving fridge
from one place to the other
Don't argue with me
12.Dating a jealous Girl Is so stressful*
*She will be like "I saw a Lady looking at u,Why
did you allow her to see u?*
13.After a big accident, kennedy was crying "O
God! I have lost my left hand?
MACCA: Control yourself my friend! Stop crying!
See that man he has lost his head, is he crying?
14.*Anytime I see slim girl with big head, I
remember my standing fan at home*
15.I just deleted my Instagram Account.....That
App is
for people who bath everyday.....me i can't!
16. When you are not fasting, you can stay till
afternoon without feeling hungry....But during
fasting, even the TV remote will start looking like
Gala in your eyes
17. My fear of weed increased d day a friend
got high for the first time, only to get home &
began to Introduce himself to his Family.
18. No English dictionary has been able to
explain the difference between the two words
"COMPLETE and FINISHED". Some people say
there's no difference between COMPLETE and
FINISHED, but there is: When you marry the
right woman, you are COMPLETE! When you
marry the wrong woman you are
FINISHED! ....And when your wife catches you
with another woman, you are ...COMPLETELY
FINISHED And if you marry a wife who likes
shopping so much, you are FINISHED
COMPLETELY
19-I thought I know every sex position until I hear my neighbor telling his girlfriend "baby get on top of the wardrobe and jump on my dick"
20-I helped my neighbor to carry a 20litres jerrican full of water up to 5th floor,,she was like"thanks a lot,just put it down there at the door,,my boyfriend is inside he will come nd carry it
I carried it downstairs....
Arrant Nonsense
Happy weekend guys
