Your wedding should be one
of the happiest days of your
life, as you and your
betrothed commit your love
to one another in the
company of your family,
friends, and community.
While the romance of the
day will be undoubtedly high
for you and your beloved, a
wedding can also become
the unfortunate occasion
where old grudges and
family wounds come out of
the woodwork, bare their
teeth, and create a stressful
and drama-filled
environment.
Don’t let unwanted drama
threaten your emotional
well-being on your happy
day. Whether you’re worried
about your crazy uncle and
step-father coming to
fisticuffs or you’re afraid the
maid of honor’s past
relationship with the best
man might come tumbling
out during the toast, here
are six ways to ensure a
drama-free wedding.
1. Talk to People Ahead of
Time
Very few people want to
cause trouble at a wedding,
and it’s safe to assume that
your friends and family want
nothing more than to see
you happily hitched in a way
that doesn’t reduce you or
other guests to tears. If
you’re worried about how
someone in your wedding
party or family may act in the
presence of another guest,
gently take that person aside
a few weeks ahead of time,
and tell her of your fears.
Use de-escalating language,
and be careful to avoid
harsh or accusatory terms
and tones. Simply state that
you know how being
around so-and-so might
bring up some negative
emotions. Then, carefully ask
for her assistance in keeping
things kind and civil
throughout your big day.
2. Let Everyone Know Their
Role
Whether your wedding is
scheduled to take place in
one of the many Los Angeles
venues and banquet halls or
you’re throwing a small,
rustic country wedding in a
small town in Connecticut,
letting everyone know
exactly what their role is on
your Big Day can keep
tempers in check. From
fathers and aunts to cousins
and childhood friends, take a
few minutes to explain to
everyone who matters to
you just what is — and what
isn’t — expected of them. It
will keep over-achievers
from overstepping their
bounds, and it will clear up
any confusion about who is
doing what.
3. Don’t Invite
Troublemakers
Sadly, some people behave
as though they were built to
spill, and no amount of mild-
mannered, reasonable
talking is likely to get them
to give up their rabble-
rousing ways. If you have a
friend or family member
who’s inclined to getting
into drunken brawls,
spreading pernicious gossip,
or otherwise ruining a good
time, consider leaving that
person off the guest list.
While it may cause hurt
feelings at the outset, keep
your eyes set on the goal of
achieving a peaceful
wedding day.
4. Refuse to Be a Pawn
Occasionally, brides and
grooms are treated as a
chess piece in someone
else’s emotional game,
where family members try to
do harm to one another. If
anyone at any time fills you
in on someone else’s deviant
behavior and tries to cajole
you into taking sides, don’t
do it. Only by setting
boundaries and honoring
them will you be able to
avoid the pitfalls of another’s
drama quest. Listen kindly,
and state firmly that you
won’t pick sides. Then,
explain that you have other
things to attend to and get
away from the conversation.
5. Don’t Hire Family
Your niece may be a
fabulous photographer with
a budding business, and
while you’re probably right
that she’ll do a great job, do
you really want to find out
otherwise? To avoid
headaches and hurts that
could haunt you at every
family reunion the rest of
your life, stick to hiring
strangers. Catering, video,
photography, flowers,
organist — if you can hire a
professional, do so. It will
ensure your family is able to
enjoy the festivities fully, and
it won’t create any potential
conflicts.
6. Choose Love and Positivity
Even when you’ve followed
all the advice already given,
there’s no guarantee that
drama won’t cloud your
wedding day. If you find
yourself in the middle of
your reception with two
screaming guests and a
roomful of stunned people, it
isn’t your fault. Ask a trusted
friend to intervene, and tell
the band to keep playing.
Above all, choose love and
positivity in even the worst
situation, and, given the
occasion, that shouldn’t be
too hard. After all, you just
married the love of your life
didn’t you?
Having a drama-free
wedding day should be
every bride and groom’s
right. Practice these six
techniques, and even if the
storms of chaos threaten,
you’ll be able to rise above
them to clear, serene skies. [hupso]
