A lot of people are disenchanted with their relationships and one reason that I have consistently found at the root of this disenchantment is ‘settling for less.’
People get into relationships for so many reasons but the people that eventually find themselves perpetually ‘managing’ the setting they find themselves in are the ones that settled for much less than they should have and what happens when you settle for less? You may get even less than you settled for!
A lot of things could be responsible for this but I have chosen to single out a major factor that disturbs me in how people carry on with relationships-only to end up making the mistake of their lives when it comes to choosing a marriage partner.
True that it’s said that a lady is most likely going to kiss many frogs until she finds her prince charming, so also is a man likely to ‘pass through’ many toads, until his princess charming appears. I have no problems with ‘trying ‘(if one fails) until one gets it right. What I (however) object to is the idea of stringing along multiple partners in the name of ‘searching’!
It’s very challenging to make an informed decision in the presence of too many options. You have to eliminate some options first –to enable you narrow things down to the barest minimum. That way, you are not only able to focus better on what you have at hand; you are also most likely to give it your best shot.
You can’t be serious about wanting to get married-with so many ‘candidates’ (at the same time!) in your ‘relationship repertoire’…that’s an express way to confusion, because you are probably keeping everyone of them for different reasons and when it’s time for decision making …you find a guy (for example) settling for the lady that took in for him first…yet, she is not ‘who’ he needs.
In fact, I judge anybody’s readiness for commitment by looking into his/her relationships…
How does one explain the issue of a lady that’s known to have dated ‘correct’ men in her hey day, only to end up in matrimony with a ‘sorry somebody’?
She probably had a lot of options at a time, so in marriage-she gets to discover a lot of ‘writings on the wall’ which she was (probably) too ‘busy’ to read during courtship.
True that human beings do not come with guarantee and that none has it all, but one can always ‘up’ his/her chances of success by learning to prune things down to the barest minimum –so as to give what’s at hand your maximum focus and make an informed decision…a decision based on a deep conviction.
Narrowing things down enables you to see the writing on the wall clearly-just in case you need to make a detour and chart a new course for yourself.
If you have ‘too many options’, the time needed to look into things closely will be rationed to each and every one of them. How can anybody claim they are planning to have something serious with someone they barely spend quality time with…because there are ‘others’?
I know that marriage is a tasking institution but let’s not complicate things unnecessarily. If you are desirous of settling down, get serious with your relationship and give it your best, stop this ‘one leg here and another leg there’ dance.
Focus on what you have, if it’s not going the way you want-find the nearest exit and try again until you get it right but stop stringing too many partners along…that is a serious recipe for confusion because someone in the ‘pack’ will always hold your attention for the wrong reasons!
