[b]A Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and throw it into the river". And the
congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all
thewine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in
the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!"
"And if I had all thewhiskey and rum in the world,
I'd take it all and throw it in the river". Againthe
congregation cried,"Amen!"
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood
up& said: "For our closing hymn, let's turn to
page 126 of our hymn books and sing, 'We shall
drink from that river".
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!
A mum was lucky enough tosee her three
daughters wed in the same year, so she
whispered to each of them "After your
weddings,text me your first night experience and
don't forget to text it in a coded way!"
After a week, the first daughter sent 'NESCAFE'
inan sms 2 her mum while a week later, the
second sent 'BENSON'. Their mum, as a 'soji
woman' picked upa tin of Nescafe and read from
d label "fantastic till dlast drop!" She also went to
her husband's pack of Benson cigarettes and
found written on it "Extra long, king size!" she
thought aloud "not too badfor them at their age"
A few days later, her third daughter's text comes
in,"Arik: Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls Arik Air
information desk to inquireabout their Kano to
Lagos flight. She was told, "Its 3 times daily, 7
days a week and the flight duration is 75 minutes
to and fro!"
Mama throws herself in theair, lands, slumps and
faints shouting..."Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo
O! ( this one will kill my daughter!)"
Husband buys 5 of the same color of pants for
hiswife. WIFE: Ah! Same color?People will think i
don't change my panties. HUSBAND: Which
people?
AKPOS: Swthrt lets play hide and seek....
EKAETTE: Noooooo, the last time we did, I didn't
findyou till Feb 15th.
AKPOS: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus,
Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.
FRIEND: Dude, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No! Send me the link
A drunk 18 year old boy asked a
married
woman out, the woman got
pissed &
told her husband..
The husband told her to invite the boy so
dat he can beat the hell out of
him.
The woman did what her
husband
requested as he was hidding under the bed...
When the boy got there, he
took off his t-
shirt and his body was full of
scars..this
made the woman to asked,"why have U so
many scars?"
The boy replied,"I my job is to
lay married
women & usually I get caught
so I kill the husbands, if someone shows up
now he
will be number 20 on my
murder list...The
boy continued, as
the woman tried to reach out her
husband under the bed, a small
voice
came up,"If U tell him am here,
U ll
see!!..
Few weeks to val: Gf: baby I heard
new bb is out.
Akpos: all bb's
always hang.
Gf: dis one doesn't
hang.
Akpos: so am a liar abi? Its
over btwn us..[/b]
