CHAPTER THREE
FIONA'S FAIRYTALES
Fiona was an angelic-
looking lady in her late
twenties. She always
wore her hair in
dreadlocks of two
colours. She had a
charming
smile. Her almond eyes
had been her beauty
spot. She wasn't too
athletic but she had
durable limbs. Her long
nose had endeared him
to countless admirers
who had taken her for a
British lady in black
skin. Her neck had faint
traceries lining it up.
The beauty of Fiona had
caught the eyes of
many suitors, but she
had
rejected them all in a
humble manner. She
believed her future
partner was still not in
sight.
Fiona was only a new
teacher in Morning Bell
College, having taught
for only twelve months.
She taught Phonetics.
Fiona had interest in
grooming pupils for
something special. At
the
sight of Bella, she had
put up great interest in
her. She wanted to be
around her all the time,
such that she gave up
attending her own
Church denomination to
Bella?s own, with the
interest of getting
familiar with her.
However, Fiona knew
very little of Bella?s
background. She hadn?
t been to her home,
despite asking Bella to
take her there all the
time. She hadn?t seen
anybody coming to the
school to pick up Bella
after school or anyone
who showed care for
her, yet the school was
only attended by rich
kids.
How come Bella goes
home all alone? She
pondered, yet she
claimed that Blossom
was
her sister. What kind of
sisters are they?
As for Blossom, she
always had two guys
coming to pick her up
after school hour. They
seemed too young to be
her father or uncle, so
Miss Fiona concluded
that they were his
friends.
Fiona stepped to the
door of the office of
Bishop Daniel. She
blinked her eyes over
the
wordy instructions
glommed to the door:
THE OFFICE OF BISHOP
DANIEL OGHENE
KEEP OFF IF YOU ARE
COMING TO HURT
BECAUSE THE MAN OF
GOD IS ANOINTED
FROM HEAD TO TOE
BUT COME IN IF YOU
NEED HELP
ONLY MAKE SURE YOU
PUT OFF YOUR PHONE
AND KNOCK! KNOCK!!
KNOCK!!! THE DOOR
SOFTLY.
Jesus IS LORD!
Fiona smiled. The
inscription was amusing
to
her. They should have
put all in one sentence,
she thought.
She knocked softly and
the voice of the
middle-aged man came
up:
"Come in, come in," the
Bishop said as he
adjusted his spectacles.
He had a little
moustache, which
curved down over his
upper
lip like a walrus in the
sea. His teeth had a tint
of chocolate stain,
probably from the
kolanut
he had spent his time
chewing many years
back. Bishop Daniel had
an oval-shaped head,
like the egg of a
peacock. His smile
seemed
lopsided, affecting only
the right cheek, while
the left one remained
still. Bishop Daniel had
scanty hairs on his
brows. His ears seemed
like the handles of an
ancient cup.
The door made a
crinking sound as Fiona
walked in slowly.
"Good day sir," she
greeted in her
phonetically-
inclined accent.
"Good day young lady.
How may I help you
please?"
"Sir, you said you
wanted to see me...and
I'm
here."
"Oh! Who are you
please, because I asked
to
see some other people
too?"
Fiona was amazed.
Seemed the man had
short-term memory for
forgetting her so soon.
Wasn't he the one who
mentioned her name
earlier on the pulpit?
"Sir, but you cautioned
me on the pulpit
earlier. You said it is
enough Sister Fiona,
have your seat please!"
Fiona said, mimicking
the Bishop's voice.
The clergyman grinned.
"Oh! It's you Miss
Fiona. I'm sorry I
couldn't
recognise you. You
know something? I
must
confess that's my
cross; I've got long-
sightedness," the
Bishop confessed
humorously.
"Oh! I see!" Fiona said
and kept quiet.
"You're welcome Fiona."
"But sir...how did you
know my name in the
first place?"
"Someone described
you to me two weeks
back."
"Described me?"
"Yes Sister Fiona and
that's why I'm inviting
you here today," the
Bishop said. ?Please
you
may have your seat.?
Fiona looked around
and sat gently on the
succulent seat. She
fixed her gaze at the
wall-
clock which had just
clocked 2pm. She
widened her eyes as
though she was amazed
at
it. Her body language
felt like she wanted to
leave immediately.
Bishop Daniel rose to
his feet and came close
to her. She was
suspicious.
?What is it sir?? she
asked edgily.
?Nothing really, Sister
Fiona, but permit me to
ask you this; you are
beautiful, I hope you
know.?
Fiona raised her brows
and stared into the
Bishop?s face.
?S?Sir, I?I don?t get y-
you,? she said.
?Of course you know
what I?m saying,? the
Bishop said.
?What?? Fiona asked
shakily.
?I love you, please can
you marry me?? the
Bishop said, smiling.
Fiona was punch-drunk;
a bishop in his fifties,
already married with
grown up kids asking
for
her hands in marriage?
How is that possible?
She thought. Her lips
couldn?t make up a
word; they just
trembled.
?My darling Fiona,
please let?s get
married,?
the Bishop spoke
confidently once again
as he
demanded a response.
?Y-you must be m-
mad, sir,? Fiona
managed
to voice out, then she
realized the gravity of
her rash statement and
apologized. ?I?m sorry
for saying that sir?but
sir it is weird, can?t
you see??
?Weird you say, Fiona??
the Bishop said.
?What is weird??
?Ain?t you following
the bible anymore? One
man, one wife I think is
the doctrine. Also, a
Bishop is said to be a
husband of one wife,
isn?t it? Beside sir, I
can?t get married to a
Bishop even if he is in
his early or late
twenties.?
The Bishop laughed and
adjourned to his seat
as he plunged into a
weird laughter. Fiona
was
left in the cloud. She
had no clue. It was a
bizarre scene to her.
?Fiona, did I sound
serious at all?? the
Bishop
kept laughing. ?Maybe
I?ll be very good at
acting,? he added. ?I
don?t believe I acted
that
script so well??
Fiona felt embarrassed
when she discovered
that the Bishop was
only playing pranks on
her. He didn?t mean
what he was saying at
all.
?Bishop you scared
me,? she said as she
sighed.
?Yes I do and I knew it
from the onset; those
eyes of yours got some
wrinkles around them.
You were like, Oh My
Gush!?
Fiona gawked into her
wrist-watch. She was
somehow eager to
leave. The Bishop
discovered it.
?I perceive you want to
leave, sister Fiona, but
you don?t need to be in
a hurry because today
is Sunday, so give it all
to the Lord because it
is the Lord?s day, isn?t
it?? Fiona nodded in
agreement.
?Sir, you haven?t told
me why I?m here yet,?
she said.
?Yes, actually that
script I acted out for
you is
a kind of revelation I
received last week after
a
fervent prayer. Soon,
old men like myself,
already married with
kids, will be the one
asking for your hands
in marriage after the
young ones have tried
several times without
success lady Fiona!?
?God forbid!? Fiona
screamed.
?But that?s the
revelation. You?re in
your late
twenties and you aren?t
giving in to any suitor,
yet you want to get
married, or don?t you??
?Of course I want sir,?
she replied.
?Then listen to at least
one of them,? he said.
?Sir?but I have not
seen the type of man I
want in any of them,?
she confessed.
?How many??
?Like five of them have
come after me since I
joined this Parish in
January. I think they?re
all
after my beauty,? she
added.
?January to May is
around four months,
Sister
Fiona, so you mean
you?ve been in this
church
for so long.?
?Yes sir,? she said.
?And why didn?t we
have your name in the
Church Register Book?
Or you didn?t stand up
to indicate that you
were a first-timer the
very
first day you came to
the church??
?Yes sir.?
?Why??
?Just because I didn?t
want to be noticed, yet
these guys found me
out.?
?Ssh!? the Bishop
sounded. ?Say brothers
in
the Lord, not guys.?
?Funny,? Fiona said. ?
That?s why I don?t
want
to give in to any of
them.?
?How?? the Bishop
demanded.
?When brothers in the
Lord start marrying
their sisters in the
Lord, isn?t that
Inbreeding?? Fiona said
without blinking an
eye. It elicited laughter
from the Bishop?s
mouth. He sat up
eventually and broke up
the
purpose for inviting her
to his office.
?Miss Fiona, I actually
called you here because
already as I speak,
another ?guy? in quote
is
dying to speak to you,
but he is scared.?
?Scared of me?? she
spoke in her usual
accent
laced with phonetics.
?Of course people are
already getting scared
of
speaking with you one
on one because you
have been shooing
them all off!?
Fiona gazed at the
ceiling and touched her
chest. Her breath
ceased as the door
began to
open for a young man
to come in.
?Here?s the guy,? the
Bishop said, pointing
towards the door which
was ajar. Fiona placed
her palms over her face
and stood as she
walked past the man
and left the office
immediately.