May 2011
By second semester year two, my heart was sickled, but not broken. I found myself trying too hard to impress one guy. I bought new clothes all the time, told tall tales about things i know nothing about, and places i had never been. I just kept trying. But i was always afraid. Why?
I knew I wasn’t all that pretty, but I thought I made up for that with my manners, and intelligence. I wasn’t a head turner but I tried to have a pleasant and approachable personality. Some people took it for naivete and tried to use my head. Including my boyfriend sometimes.
We would have an argument and for weeks, he would totally blank me out of his life. He wouldn’t call, message or even see me. This was another side to my sweetheart that left me heart broken because I often wallowed in self-pity when he ignored me.
Most of our quarrels had been almost over nothing, now I think of it, he hadn’t given me any reason to be suspicious of him but I just felt insecure where he was concerned.
To cap it all, most of my friends thought we weren’t such a great match. They always considered me extremely ‘lucky’ to have landed such a great guy. My room mate even had a crush on him and even though she never openly said it, she didn’t know what he had seen in me to choose me over her.
She was more good looking than I am. Long legs and a slender body, I didn’t hold a candle to her in looks department plus she was the more outgoing one. She had so many rich guys asking her out but I just couldn’t understand why her and everyone else seemed to only want my man.
I felt really inadequate at holding on to my man for much longer because he was slipping farther and farther out of my grasp. I used to see us as two destined hearts, souls that had found each other and could communicate their innermost thoughts without words. But now I felt lonely and out in the lurch
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