Oh my husband episode 47&48

OH THIS MY HUSBAND

Part 47
SEXUAL RE-ORIENTATION.

Let me help you with the broken plates; my husband said.
Oga, the broken plates are on the floor and not on my chest: I replied.
Without another word, my husband lifted me into his arms.
He was carrying me to the bedroom and I can see that funny look he always has when he wanted sex.
But this time I am ready for him.
My husband is a 4-minute man. He expects to claim the trophy when the race is just about to start. This had deprived me of sexual fulfilment all through our marriage.
My response to our unfulfilled sex was to restrict sex to during my ovulation period alone.
Pastor Mrs. had taught me that the ways a woman can really enjoy sex is to change the rule.
Usually, it is men that initiates sex and within five minutes he ejaculates and leaves the woman who is just beginning to gear up for sex, hanging in midair, high and dry.
She advises that women should take more active roles in sex. Don't wait for foreplay. Take charge of the foreplay.
Tease him but don't allow him access to the honey pot.
I was also taught that missionaries can't be strangers forever. So why should you make the only sexual style the missionary style.
The bible says and "Adam knew his wife". How can you know someone sexually when you only lie face to face?
If no one can be satisfied with living in a face me I face you house forever, then face me I face you sex shouldn't be forever.
You know Pastor's wife was once a club girl, she gave me the nitty gritty of sexuality in a Christian home. She told me that couples must ensure they baptize every room in their house sexually.
This creates fun moments to cherish and to remember.
As we entered the bedroom, he dropped me on the bed, but I led him to the bathroom.
For the first time in our marriage, I gave my husband a warm bath, and ensured my hands lingered on sensitive spots. By the time I finished using my palm to rub off the water, he was speaking in tongues.
He took his turn to bathe me, I didn't know my husband thinks my sensitive regions were dirty because he spent a lot of time washing.... Oh, what joy that fills my soul....
We moved to the bedroom and I ensured that it is an acrobatic session and not a boring missionary journey.
Curtain closed. Sorry, sex is best enjoyed in secrecy of husband and wife alone. I can't share more details.
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The next Sunday we went to church, the news had spread about my husband nefarious activities, church members were giving us funny looks.
Hypocrites are too much in the church these days. Well, I don't mind the looks I'm getting. My mess would be converted to a message by mercy of God.
I clutched my husband to myself. I was not shy to give him open pecks in church. Let me claim my man before lonely ladies think they have a prey.
After service, I was standing by the main entrance to the church when I saw Bose, Assistant Pastor's daughter. I called her to myself and hugged her.
As soon as I hugged her, everyone around me started clapping. They were surprised that I can give a hug to the lady who slept with my husband.
Bose started crying, I was crying and many ladies around me were crying.
Then the unthinkable started happening.
Haaaa what name do I call this.
Before I could control the situation, my husband was out of hands.
What!!!!!??

OH THIS MY HUSBAND

Part 48
HOLY GHOST INVASION

Sister Beatrice came towards me and knelt before me. She said;
I have studied the lessons on forgiveness on the Bible but I didn't understand. Today, I have seen the true meaning of being a Christian and forgiving others.
I am not worthy to be a Christian because I am yet to forgive my husband for calling me a fat woman. Mummy Joy, pray for me please.....
Wasn't I the sister Joy this morning? Now I am being called mummy, wow!
Other members of the church started coming towards me, and as they got closer, they fell upon their kneels, crying for forgiveness from God.
One, two, five, ten, more, more..... all on their kneels around me. Calling out the names of people they have not forgiven in their heart.
Haaaa what name do I call this, forgiveness crusade?
Before I could control the situation, my husband was out of hands, he started to prophecy to people.
He was mentioning names of those they are yet to forgive and the problems unforgiveness had brought into their lives.
Surprisingly, majority of the married members of the church were holding one grudge or the other against their spouses.
Uncle B, a partially blind senior citizen in our church was passing by when my husband faced him to tell him that he is yet to forgive his dead wife for dying early. The man went on his kneels to forgive her and his eyesight became very clear.
Big mummy had a partial stroke last year, she always comes to church in a wheel chair. My husband faced her and told her that the demon of unforgiveness is what bounds her to the chair. He said to her;
You caught your husband in a compromising situation fourteen years ago. Your refusal to forgive gave the devil the power to finally bind you last year. Forgive and be set free.
As soon as mummy finished praying, my husband held her hands and pulled her up, she started walking.
What!!!!!??
I have been living with a prophet and an anointed man but I didn't know. Sin had killed the power in my husband before now.
I remembered that my husband deliverance started after I totally forgave him too.
Pastor and his wife came out of the church office to see what was happening...
Those on the streets and houses close to the church started running to the church.
We had to move everyone back into the church and start another service. This time Pastor didn't preach.
He invited my husband to anchor this new service. The choir couldn't sing, they were crying to God for forgiveness. I did the singing.
My husband sudden sermon was titled: MULTITUDE OF CHRISTIANS IN HELL FOR UNFORGIVENESS.
The stone that the builders rejected had become the corner stone.
After the multitudes of signs and wonders, Pastor told the church that he was led of God to ordain my husband and I.
Ahhhhh, I don't want ooo.
How are they sure that the power of God is now permanently on my husband's life?
Maybe God just borrowed him today oooo
This people don't know my husband ooo
Hmmmm, do I sound like an unforgiving person?oh God forgive me.
From that day things changed.

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Our house became a bee hive of activities. Someone is always around to see my husband.
The excitement was over, the stress is now telling on me.
My husband doesn't have my time. He is either reading the bible or praying for someone or counselling.
I was left out because I don't want to look like an intruder in another people's discussion.
Finances was getting very slim. My husband refused to collect money from people.
Today, we have had over six visitors and I was already tired when I heard the knock on the door.
I grudgingly went to the door ready to turn them back when I discovered who was at the door
Oh no, not my own turn now