My name is Thomas. Today i decided to share this
I have problem connecting socially with people.
I lost my dad at a very young age. I found it difficult to deal with the pain, the anger and ever since, I withdrew myself from every persons close to be called friend. Locked myself in my own mind. Built a wall around me keeping everyone away from me. Even when being a teenager hits me and my hormones became over the roof, I still maintained my wall compressing the raging hormones to the point I didn't care about them. I blamed God for my dad's death and i think I still do.
Coming from a family where we are all guys, we barely share our feelings with each other. With no one to talk to, I became worst. Hate everyone, hate the world, hate God, even hate myself. I considered suicide but couldn't bear the thought of leaving my mom in pain. To everyone else, I'm a easygoing guy, a cool guy, a happy guy because that's what I showed them. Going around with the facade of being happy while privately I'm just miserable.
I'm a student in one of the various universities in Nigeria studying just to get my mind off my pitiful state.
I did have some exciting moment, some crazy acquaintances, crushes but non was able to breach my wall
I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I'm bored or maybe, just maybe I want someone to know my pain, to know me, to try breaching this wall of mine
*Author's note: It's actually a true life story
