(Poem originally published on ArtHut via http://arthut.com.ng/viewBlog?hid=8nitihi674g3s8431&data=insight)
A devilish smile on your face, pure terror in your gaze
Dear dad, I'm nothing like you,
All my life I've been lied to,
All you ever wished for is for me to die too,
You made me who I am so whoever dies today?
Their blood is on your hands,
Tears dripping off my face, my heart ripped my feelings- displaced
I'd always see you, I'd run away,
Told God to find a way.
A way I would no longer be in your life and you in mine
A way to run away from everything.
I bottled up my emotions, every time I'd hear you cause a commotion.
I do this in commemoration, of the day I was born, of the day all this hate was born.
Dear Dad, I'm nothing like you.
I was just a kid, and what you did to me hurt me- no kidding.
I'd await the night. Only for you to appear with a heavy beating.
So whenever I see a grown-up, I'm afraid they are just like you.
Bottled up emotions, that's how I discovered poetry
A way to let it all out yet not get it to you.
Coz I'm just a kid, afraid of the night, afraid of sleeping out in the dark alone
I started strong but gave up on the way,
I thought I could somehow change you, guess I was wrong.
Maybe in whatever you did, you felt at home.
But I didn't, I was heartbroken when you were home.
I was happy when you were gone.
Guess that's why I hoped you'd never return.
How I hoped every damning day was your last.
But you managed to pull through. Every day after worse than before
This load is too heavy on my heart, I can no longer carry the weight.
So hereby take it off me.
They say God always makes a way, well maybe He doesn't want to.
They say Jesus carried our burden, why do I still feel burdened?
All the love I had for you turned to hate, now it's double-fold.
Too much my heart can no longer hold.
But it's life. So maybe when you are old. Maybe you will ask for forgiveness.
Maybe I'll be gone, and you'll feel the pain.
Maybe there's something you'll really gain.
How am I to tell the future?
All want is for this to end.
I tie this noose to my neck,
My heart you did break, so why not my neck?
I need a break from all this, so I crave for this peace.
Just know I'm nothing like you.
I gave up sure, but I'd rather die than live a life so impure.
Once you're in, there's no cure.
Goodbye, Dad!
I just Died!
Bury me 3 feet under.
Let my body dry from thunder.
I'm nothing like you!
