“I got pregnant nine years ago while dating my
current husband and
then the issue of marriage came up.
I wasn’t working then. He told my family and I that
he doesn’t want
a court marriage for no reason.
My parents tried talking to him, I cried and begged
him severally to
legalize his marriage with me but he stood his
grounds not to wed
me in a court.
I involved his family members to help me beg him
but they said,
he’s old enough to make his decisions.
He even refused to do a white wedding either
because my church
requested for a court certificate, so we ended up
doing only
traditional marriage.
I later got tired and gave up on the matter. I was
hurt and broken
but I resolved to marry him like that just to save
myself and my
family the shame of having a baby outside
wedlock.
My dad was angry and disappointed in him but he
didn’t care and
because of that my dad vowed to see me a
successful and
independent woman with or without him.
After I gave birth to my baby, my dad helped me
secure a job with a
multinational company and things started to turn
around for me.
I could now take care of myself and secure a future.
Though I married my husband but I never forgave
him from my
heart and it made me not to do anything in my
husband’s name.
We currently have three kids together but all my
properties are in
the name of my children. I never used him as my
next of kin either.
Just last month my company decided to transfer
me to a branch in
Texas and the company is willing to pay for my
entire family to
relocate with me.
My husband’s business is not doing too well and
he’s willing to
relocate also but we have no legal certificate to
show that we are
married.
Now he wants us to go to the court to legalize our
marriage and I
have said “No” My dad has threatened to disown
me if I ever go
with him to court.
He’s been tagging me everywhere as a bad wife
who is not loyal to
her husband, spoiling my family also.
His family members have been calling me trying to
persuade me
but I told them I’m old enough to make my
decisions also and I
have stood my ground just like he did to me nine
years ago.”
Please, what is your advice for this young mother of
three?
