1) Yesterday my girlfriend called me, hello baby! Am so hungry right now please can you come to my house and when coming please buy a big chicken so that I’ll use to prepare something for us to eat since there’s Quarantine …
Though i was broke but i looked for where they were selling chicken and bought a big one and went to her house …
She then slaughtered it boiled only four pieces for the food and put the rest inside the freezer . After ten minutes into her cooking, a call entered her phone and she went inside to receive the call …
After receiving the call, she told me her brother is on the way and she will not like her brother to meet me in the house and that if he meets me, he won’t be happy {Which i know so well that none of her brother is coming} …
So she said i should go that when her brother leaves she will call me. So as a gentle guy i peacefully went to the pot of food picked the four pieces of chicken opened the freezer and took the rest and went to my house in peace
…
Since yesterday I’ve been calling to know if her brother has left so i can go back buh she has been ignoring my call …
My people, did i do anything wrong ? Why do bad things always happen to good people?
2)Nigerian movie will be like Ijeoma, this one you came to my house early this morning crying, hope all is well?..
I will be like, all is well. She just came to your house because your house is hosting a crying competition
3) If you want your husband to be with you in the kitchen, borrow his phone to use for touch, he will stand there until you finish cooking
4) Wife ; hello my darling , sweetheart, blessed husband
Husband: Cynthia that money in d drawer is for my company
5) A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the
bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
‘Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but
I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing’s,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for Corona so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Emeka.
P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table.
Call me when it is safe for me to come home!
Thanks for reading which one got you more.
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