Teacher: mention 3 things dat can befound in d kitchen...
Ojo: pot
Teacher: good!
Amina: stove
Teacher: awesome!
Akpos: Aisha
Teacher: y Aisha?
Akpos: coz she belongs 2 d kitchen
Teacher: ar u sick?
Akpos: ask our president
xam Palava
ME : Guy, the exam result are out letz go and see
GUY : Mhiz Lara Akinola pls check mine am with my dad
can't go out right now..
ME : Aiit.
GUY : if itz bad text "Good morning", if itz really bad text
"Good morning to u nd ur dad"
LATER
GUY : hw is it
ME : Good morning to u, ur family and to ur whole village
Heaven Joke
One day, Heaven suddenly became extremely full, and
something had
to be done. So The Lord decided to have St. Peter wait at
the gate
and ask everyone how they died. If it was a grisly story
they told,
they could go ahead into Heaven. But if not, they had to go
to Hell.
The first man walks up and St. Peter tells him what's
happening.
"You see, Heaven is quite full today, and we have to ask
everyone
how they died. If it sounds good, you can go ahead. But if
not,
you go to Hell."
"Ok," the man says. "Well, for awhile I'd been suspecting
my wife
of cheating on me. So today I thought I'd leave work early
and
catch her. Sure enough, I got to my apartment and she was
lying
Unclad on the bed. I ran all over the apartment searching
for the
man but couldn't find him.
Then I remembered that we lived on the 25th floor of an
apartment
building, and we have a balcony. And there was the man,
hanging
off my balcony. I beat at his hands and he just wouldn't let
go,
so I ran and got a hammer and beat his hands until he fell
into
the bushes below. I saw he was still alive so I got the
refrigerator and pushed over the edge on top of him. But
the
strain of the effort gave me a heart attack and I died.
"Wow!" St. Peter said. "That really is bad! You can go
ahead..."
The next man walked up and St. Peter gave his spiel about
Heaven
being full and the man would have to tell his story.
"Ok," the second man said. "So I live on the 26th floor of
an
apartment building, and everyday I do exercises on my
balcony.
Well, today I fell over the edge, but luckily I caught the
railing
of the balcony below me."
"Suddenly, this man came running out and started beating
at my
hands. He ran back inside and I thought I was safe, but
then he
came back out with a hammer and beat my hands again. I
finally
fell off, but luckily I landed in the bushes below and they
saved
my life. But that wasn't enough for the man because he
pushed his
refrigerator over the edge and it landed on me and killed
me.
And now I'm here."
"Wow, that's a good one too! You can go ahead..."
The third man walked up and St. Peter again gave his spiel
about
Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story
of how
he died.
"Ok," the third man said. "I don't know what happened. I
was
hiding Unclad inside this refrigerator..
