Hey Ladies welcome to this week's edition of LADIES WORLD. I'm still your humble host Vianney.
Today we are going to learn the different methods you can use in saying no to a guy.
For most women, it's tough saying no to anyone who's interested in dating them, especially if it's a really nice person.
Guys face the same problem too. There is a perception that we will 'hurt' someone if we say no.
So instead of saying no, some women make excuses such as
'maybe another time', or 'I'm too busy now', or 'I have a boyfriend' , ... or whatever, ...
The problem with lying is that if you get caught, it can be even
more hurtful.
Also it leads to other questions that you don't want to hear
such as, 'can I call you later?' or 'how 'bout if we go out next week?' or 'who's your
boyfriend?', etc. ...
When you cover up the real reason for not going out with someone, you're giving a guy hope that you might still go out
with them sometime. Most guys can't take a hint and don't
understand subtle rejection.
That's why lying backfires most of the time and makes matters worse. One lie leads to another, and pretty soon you lose all credibility, plus you start feeling badly about yourself.
Saying 'no' can take up a lot of your energy if you're not honest and can make it much harder to be honest and say 'no' in the future. You must be honest from the get go or it will be
much more difficult as time passes.
How To Say NO Without
Hurting His Feelings.
If a guy is really nice like you think he is, he should respect you when you say 'no'. He should walk away
without making you feel guilty. He should not try to manipulate you into going out with him.
Every man knows that some women will say no. If a man is going to play the dating
game, rejection is part of the game. A really nice guy, will say something like 'thank-
you for being honest with me. I respect that.'
You are under no obligation to say 'yes' to every nice guy
who asks you out. There are tons of nice guys out there.
You're looking for someone special, not just someone who's 'nice'.
You will almost always fair better if you answer with a
firm 'no', rather than being indirect and 'beating around the bush'.
You don't need to give a reason for saying 'no'. That's your business. On the other
hand, it can be hurtful if you don't say 'no' in a nice way.
A Nice Way Of Saying 'NO'.
You could say this, 'Thank-you for asking me out. It's very
flattering that someone as nice as you wants to go out with me.
But the truth is that I don't want to go out with you for personal reasons I'd rather not
discuss. Can you respect that? (or would you be angry with me if I said 'no'?)'
The reason why this works is that you just gave this guy a huge compliment so he knows he's not being rejected because you don't like him.
You thanked him for asking you out. Also you told him that you
don't want to go out with him for 'personal' reasons you don't want to talk about. You are being totally honest.
He knows it would be 'wrong' for him to go any further because
your reasons are 'personal' i.e..
And as 'icing on the cake' you polished off your answer with a
question that takes a guy off guard. What you asked was
'respectful' and that's very important to men.
What will he say?, 'yes, I'm angry with you for saying no.' or 'no I can't respect you for saying no'?.
Of course not.
Men don't usually get respectful, honest answers like this, and if he's a nice guy he'll respect your honesty.
