THINGS YOU WILL ALWAYS LEARN
FROM LAGOS TRAFFIC #based on
experience#
Lagos traffic deserves all the
hatred it has gathered over the
years but below are the things
you can learn and benefit from it.
1. Mobile shopping (MS) – Every traffic location in Lagos is a POS (Point of Sale) terminal. Traders hawk all manner of goods and motorists patronise them as an alternative to regular mall shopping. What is it you are contemplating to buy from that shop or supermarket when you get home? Save yourself the disappointment of not meeting the seller when you get home and buy it from the mobile shop. In Lagos traffics, you can get anything. From snacks to fresh meats; fresh pepper to cooking oil; cooking utensils to even workshop tools; mind you, you don’t pay for the goods until you have collected both the goods and your change else… you can find out yourself.
2. Increase your vocabulary (lYV)
– Have you ever been so vexed
at someone that you didn’t know
the right words to use in either
expressing your anger or
qualifying the person’s stupidity?
If yes, then I recommend you
spend at least 15 minutes in
Lagos’ traffic (preferably in the
evening when motorists are
exhausted) and your inadequacies
will be a thing of the past. At
accident spots in the traffic you
will hear words like: You are a
nincompoop; Shut up! You this
idiotic fool; Hold on a minute, do
you know who I am? You this
clumsy homo-neanderthalensis
and the list goes on.
3. Nothing causes Traffic (NCT) –
Whoever it was that told you
there was a reason for everything
certainly didn’t consider the
causes of traffic in Lagos before
making such a conclusion. Traffic
in Lagos is set at auto-run;
congestions automatically build-up
at different locations without a
cause.
4. Some Races are a Merry-go-
round (SRMR)– It will amaze you to see
how people drive in Lagos.
Everybody drives in a random
manner as if the roads were
zigzag. The fact is everybody
wants to get home on time but
the reality is, when two vehicles
collide, the drivers will come out
of their cars and start arguing for
so long that vehicles that were
way behind will eventually catch
up with them and leave them
behind thereby making their
haste all in vain.
Apparently, since no traffic
control strategy in Lagos seem to
have worked so far including
more bridges and more traffic
regulating agencies then,
Lagosians just have to keep
getting the best out of this
problem.
