You were eating breakfast with your family. Your
daughter knocked over a cup of coffee onto your
business shirt. You harshly scolded your daughter
for knocking the coffee cup over. She broke down
in tears. After scolding her, you turned to your wife and criticized her for placing the cup too close to
the edge of the table. A short verbal battle followed.
You stormed upstairs and changed your shirt. Back
downstairs you found your daughter had been too
busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for
school. She eventually missed the school bus. Your wife must leave immediately for work. You rushed
to the car and drove your daughter to school.
Because you were late, you drove 80km/hr on a
60km/hr speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and
eventually having to pay a traffic fine, you arrived at
your daughter's school. Your daughter ran into the school premises without saying good-bye. You
arrived at your office 20 minutes late only to
discover you forgot your briefcase at home. Your
day has started terribly already. As it continued, it
seemed to get worse and worse. You transfered the
aggression on your customers and subordinates in the office. You looked forward to going home.
When you arrived home, you found a small wedge
in your relationship with your wife and daughter
because of how you reacted in the morning.
The question now is, what or who created the bad
day? A) The coffee
B) Your daughter
C) Your wife
D) The road safety officer
E) You
The answer is You. Yes, you! You had no control over what happened with the
coffee, but YOUR REACTION to the little scenario
created the bad day.
HERE IS WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED:
Coffee splashed over you. Your daughter was
about to cry. You gently said "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time". You rushed
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your
briefcase. You came downstairs in time, looked
through the window and saw your child getting
into the school bus. She turned and waved. You
and your wife kissed before you both went to work. You arrived 5 minutes early and cheerfully
greeted the staffs. Your boss commented on how
good a day you were having.
Do you notice the difference? Two different
scenarios both started the same way, but ended
differently. Why? Because of YOUR REACTION. You really do not have any control over 10% of what
happens. The other 90% is determined by YOUR
REACTION.
HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO APPLY THE PRINCIPLE.
1.) If someone says something negative about you,
don't be upset. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment
affect you. React properly and it will not ruin your
day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend
or relationship, being fired, getting stressed out,
etc.
2.) How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound the
steering wheel till it falls off? Do you curse? Does
your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and
bump them? Remember the 90/10 principle, and
do not worry about it.
3.) You were told you lost your job. Must you lose your life as well? Use your "worrying" energy and
time into finding another job. Everything will
normalize again.
4.) The plane is late. It is going to mangle your
schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration
on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to
know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed
out? It will only make things worse...
Now you know the 90/10 principle. Never waste
time laying emphasis on what went wrong, or who
should be blamed, activate the "solution mode" immediately . I trust you will apply this principle in
this month of March, and you will be amazed at the
results.
