I Saw this on a post: trust me, you'll like it:
This is what a guy wrote to a Systems
Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently
upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0 and found that the new
program began unexpected Child
Processing and also took up a lot of space
and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product
brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself
into all other programs and launches during
systems initialization and then it monitors
all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5"
and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes
the system whenever selected. Attempting
to operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails
and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot
seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
whilst attempting to run any of my favorite
applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend
7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this
program. Can you please help?
.... The Systems Analyst replied:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting
from a basic misunderstanding of the
functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many
customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a
UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.
Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
designed by its Creator to run everything
on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0
and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as
Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it
is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge
the program files from the System once it is
installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend
8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with
even more problems. (See manual under
Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you
keep it Installed and deal with the
difficulties as best as you can. When any
faults or problems occur, whatever you
think has caused them, you must run
the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and
avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it
will freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\
FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and
eventually hope that the operating system
will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance
programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying
additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0"
and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0"
or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0"
or even Eating Out Without the Kids
7.2.1" (if Child processing has already
started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install
"Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One
Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this
is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0
and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,"
Systems Analyst
