I Saw this on a post: trust me, you'll like it:
"MARRIAGE SOFTWARE
This is what a guy wrote to a
Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div); Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help!
I recently upgraded my
program from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and found that the
new program began unexpected Child Processing
and also took up a lot of space
and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the
product brochure. In addition
Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during systems initialization
and then it monitors all other
system activities.
Applications such as "Boys'
Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the
system whenever selected.
Attempting to operate
selected "Soccer 6.3" always
fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs
instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
whilst attempting to run any
of my favorite applications.
Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back
to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this
program. Can you please help?
.... The Systems Analyst
replied:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding of the
functions of the Wife 1.0
program. Many customers
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND
ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.
Actually, Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM designed
by its Creator to run
everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to
purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0,
as Wife 1.0 was not designed
to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge
the program files from the
System once it is installed.
Some people have tried to
install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0
but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual
under Alimony/Child Support
and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I
recommend you keep it
Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can.
When any faults or problems
occur, whatever you think
has caused them, you must
run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid
attempting to use the *Esc-
Key for it will freeze the
entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\
APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and
eventually hope that the
operating system will return
to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high
maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it,
consider buying additional
Software such as "Flowers
2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or
"HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\
UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or
even Eating Out Without the
Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing
has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install
"Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt
Version) or "One Nightstand
3.2" (Any Mood Version), as
this is not a supported
Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost
certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,"
Systems Analyst
