Hi guys, How are you doing? Been a while I wrote
something like this. Now, this isn’t a story about how a man
shagged his wife so badly that she felt like she
didn’t know him because the sex was that
good. LOL Not today but maybe sometime soon, but this
one is more serious than that. Lets talk a
moment to discuss this. I think it’s a fairly new
culture, not sure about that but from what I
gathered around, It’s starting around 20-35
years ago, don’t ask me how I know this. From my point of view, a lot of us do this. Leave friends, best friends and marry
someone completely new, i.e strangers Allow me explain why I call theses spouses
strangers, some of us don’t date among our
friend’s pool especially best friends from the
opposite sex, we would prefer to go out and
find relationships with people from other places
and then wonder why some of these relationships don’t work and then break up
becomes inevitable. I’m not sure where I’m going with this but I think
I’ve got something, and please bear with me. Won’t it be easier and better if we dated/
married from a pool of people we already know
for a consistent period of times like our best
friends, people that we have tried and are
trusted, we have fun together, we know each
other far too well but for some reason, we prefer someone we don’t have that closeness
with for marriage that is live-long, how ironic. Going for someone new for a life-long
commitment rather someone you’ve known far
too well? I strongly think it’s the “See-Finish Syndrome”, but won’t your spouse actually see-you-finish at some point? What is so
sacred that your best friend knows that your
spouse can’t know. Moreover, a secret is only
a secret if it’s known by just one person
(That’s a saying right?) Even for me, I’m single to an extent, and
please don’t ask me what that means. I have a
couple of female friends, who we have a good
time together when we hang out , its always so
blissful, absolutely wonderful and then we get
unto relationship talks and the conversation takes a nose-dive into how it could have been
better and the weirdest things our partners do
and how we can’t understand how it is even
possible they think that is cool. I think it would be ideal if we just dated each
other and probably married each other (best
friends, that is) because there is so much we
have in common and it might be cool when that
friendship translates into marriage but then
again there is the angle where things go bad after sex. Funny enough, at least for me, I always think
about that sex might ruin things and trust me, I
would know. You’re friends with someone from
the opposite sex and its great, so much
connection but there is that thing at the back of
your mind that if sex is added, everything will go to hell in a Hermes Birkin bag, red carry-on luggage. The magic seems to have vanished feels like
someone poured cold water on you, it feels like
you’ve been blind for so long then now you
have seen the light and the person isn’t as cool
as you thought, its what sex can do and its not
even necessarily that the sex is bad or anything, your spirit has just moved on from
that person, any other thing feels like scraping
the bottom of the pot. It’s a genuine fear with me, I see someone I
really like and we connect and then I try as
much as possible to see how long I can
prolong the new relationship for because after
sex I might get over you. I think I might need
therapy, big problem for me, this doesn’t mean I will die alone right? Sincerely if I can get over that, I think I might
be able to make friendship to relationship work.
I hear a lot of people say it doesn’t work. That might be right but also might be the wrong
approach, when a good friendship is about to
translate a relationship, nothing essentially
changes asides from sex and make-outs are
added to the already existing mix. So, its still fun to goof around, yab eachother,
do pillow fights, buy take-outs for eachother,
take eachother’s dodo, steal the last pizza
slice, watch each other’s porn, judge people
from afar, gossip about friends and just about
every other thing you do as friends. A serious relationship becomes like a job to
some people, instead of saying the usual “how far, big head “it then becomes “Good morning, Boo”. Even the tone in conversations changes which isn’t needed at
all It is weird for me most times when you would
rather ask your friend for quick cash loan than
your boo or bae or whatever new slang there
is. I feel your boo should be your first line of
call incase of anything especially in marriage,
Pssst! it’s only a life-long commitment?! I believe the best relationship should come
from the best friendship so that when that love
isn’t exactly there anymore, that friendship that
you enjoyed previously will keep you rooted.
Remember that line your grandma, mum and
everyone who cared about you told you back then, about marrying your friend? Yup, thats
what this post is about Some of us still believe in separating our
spouse from our best friend, If that’s your
thing, tell me the reason why, I wanna know
maybe it might change my views. Have a blissful day!
