My "Deadly" Wooing Experience

2: The Mad lecturer "Its the 27th" she replied with a sharp gaze, obviously wondering what prompted such question at that point in time; and before I could say any other thing, we were at the entrance of the lecture theater already, I heaved a sigh of relief. I was unable to concentrate throughout the lecture; I kept taking quick glances at her pretty face while nodding to the "balderdash" the lecturer was spewing, as far as I was concerned at this point he was only blathering. Unbeknownst to me, the lecturer had been observing me, he called out my name: "Hey Capableben, Stand up and tell me the last statement I made about waves!" The class suddenly hushed down, as a graveyard and all eyes were on me. I slowly stood up; obviously clueless, I kept standing without uttering any word. "Young man, we don't have all day, tell me the last statement I made about waves" " I didn't particularly hear you the first time sir, say it again" , the whole class burst out laughing before I could finish talking, and what irked me most was that my Newly found crush laughed too. "Leave my class, you bumbling idiot, leave my class now!" The lecturer ordered, and I packed my books and slowly walked out of the class, realising how foolish my answer was.

3: The Decision "Am I already going against daddy's advice and wishes for my educational career? Am I abandoning the first class path already?" I asked myself, as I walked to the hostel. "..or are the witches from my village at work already in my life?" I though again. "But I didn't do anything wrong; I was just admiring Gods handiwork, maybe its too early. Make I just wait get good Cgpa this 100Level and nothing go stop me from to friend that girl for 200Level" I soliloquized and finally concluded. I decided to face my studies squarely and ignore all forms of distractions; in short, cooking more than once a day was considered a distraction too. So I judiciously planned my life into a "square"- church , night class and Lecture.

4: The code A year elapsed. I was a bigger boy now in 200L; more prominent among my folks and most importantly, my CGPA was "heavy" - a few points away from first class. This indicated that I have not deviated from daddy's instructions and as far as I was concerned, it was time to approach my love whom I had learnt that her name was Maryam. I was outrightly clueless how to go about my love mission and obviously needed 'coaching'; and to God be the glory, the best coach was Chris, one of my best friends. Chris was passionate about helping me out. "I knew you had a thing for that girl, I've been watching you since 100Level" he said, when I offered him the coaching job. I smiled and pat him on him on the head. "You too look matter weh no concern you" " No wahala, you know you're my guy and when it comes to wooing ladies, I am an ace" "I shall coach you well and reveal the 'code' to you", he added. "Wow! Thanks man, so when are we starting?" .......

5: My Indomie "We start right away, we got no time. Thank God lectures have not really commenced", he said. "For today, I'd need you to read and digest 'Mills and boon', don't worry I know where to get a copy for you, just go to the hostel and prepare two satchets of indomie for me while I go get the book", he instructed. Thunderstruck, I kept staring and nodding affirmatively; after all, what were two satchets of indomie compared to the invaluable knowledge I was about to acquire. Two hours later, Chris was snoring while lying on my mattress like a corpse; having voraciously consumed the plate of indomie I prepared him. I had diligently gone through the 'Mills and Boons' he brought with him two times and was about going the third time when he rolled a bit in his sleep.

6: Oga Coach He rolled again and then opened his eyes; impulsively, he checked the time on his watch.The time said 6:30Pm. He raised his head up and saw me seating on the next bunk beside him, anxiously waiting for him to wake up. "Chris, you've finally woken up, I've been waiting on you like forever", I muttered. "Yeaaa, have you read the book i asked you to read?" "Sure, I read it twice" "Good, we continue tomorrow. I will reveal the code to you tomorrow and we meet her next tomorrow, you meet her I meant", he instructed. My eyes bulged at the thought of me meeting Maryam face-face to tell her about my feelings for her; but however it may be at this point I was ready for any aftermath. The following day we set off.We needed a quiet and serene environment; the campus 'Love garden' was the right place. In a short time, we got there and my coach started. "This code im about to teach you has 3 levels.The eye contact lesson, voice pitch lesson and gait lesson", he said. "Yes, Yes", I said while nodding my head and noting down in my jotter. The commitment I had for this was strange, I haven't had such for my Thermodynamics lectures even. "We will start with the eye contact lesson. You know, you don't look at a lady the way you look at a guy.When you meet her and strike a conversation, make sure you look straight into her eye balls. It shows her that you are bold and free, even if you are shy". Chris continued talking and making gestures while I passionately took notes. At the end of the day, we were able to cover the "code" He taught me the particular gait to walk with , the charisma to exude and even how deep my voice should be when talking to Maryam and boy did I learn well.

7: Ramsey Nouah The following day was the D- day. I woke up with a smile on my face, nothing could be more invigorating. "Maryam, your own don finish today" I kept soliloquising, as I brushed my teeth in the bathroom.Just then my phone rang,it was chris. "Hey, Guy, We have an hour to go. I need you put on your best outfit, borrow a suit if you don't have one. Meet me under the mango tree in front of the libarary,I know exactly where we'd meet her", he instructed. "Okay, no problem, consider that done", I assured. I arrived at the venue Chris gave me on time; clad in a designer suit I borrowed from Obinna, a room mate of mine in 100 Level. Chris was there before me. "Perfect,just how I wanted you to look. You look like Ramsey Nouah", "Ahh, Thanks, oo", I replied with a smile. Chris had made little investigations about Maryam; and one of the things he found out was that she spent two hours in the library everyday.His plan was that we accosted her on her way out. We waited until we sighted her emerging from the gigantic library complex. "Good!good! that's your Maryam coming, go get her. Apply all I have taught you", Chris said rapidly. I nodded and started walking her direction. I walked until I was right behind her and I took a deep breath and spoke up, "Hello my lady" She kept walking as though I wasn't calling from behind her. I persisted, "Helloooo Fine Lady" and then she stopped and faced me.

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Nice one

8: FINISHING “Yes what’s the matter?”, she asked. On hearing that mellifluous voice of hers, my brain formated. I forgot all that Chris taught me that moment; lost in thoughts I kept staring at the sky and scratching my head. “What’s it ?” She asked again and then I forced myself to say something, “ehm, actually, I came to ask if you had any engineering maths problem you would like me to help you solve. Solving maths is my hobby and I know you are an engineering student.” “Well, I don’t have any problem in maths, thank you, bye”, she replied and was about to walk away, but I knew my mission would be a failed one if I let her go like that. “Ehm, actually, I came with a message from my brother standing over there”, I said while pointing at Chris who was waiting under the mango tree. “He asked me to tell you that I love you and would like to be your friend” She kept mute for a while and looked me from the feet to the upper body region, she particularly gave my suit a keen look and finally replied,” go tell him i said you are a fool, okay? And when you get back to the hostel, don’t forget to return obinna’s suit” She hissed, turned and walked away.I kept standing where she left me like a log of wood until Chris came over to meet me and just as he was about to ask how I fared, I walked away too and left him there. I was devastated. I wasn’t pained much because she called me a fool but how she knew I was wearing obinna’s suit. On getting to the hostel I found out that Maryam was Obinna’s elder sister and the suit was actually a gift from her to Obinna on his last birthday.Ohhhh, how worse could it get? From there, I promised myself to stay away from Ladies and their likes, I even concluded I was going to the seminary after university.

lol... A guy has to rehearse and get really prepared to woo a long time crush. Funny enough, his crush may just ignore him or end up not taking him seriously. ''Life goes on anyway'', he encourages himself and move on. Ladies can easily turn guys down but don't have the courage to woo their own crush. On the other hand, no one is to be blamed. People have different choices. Guys can't just have all the ladies they crush on. And ladies can't just accept all their chykers.

Hw we go knw if u learn well or nt? Go do practical jor? Zoom on.

Hmmm

Owkay O

Chaii sorry o. A failed attempt dnt even consider trying again.

i appreciate dis

Next

tnx

lol, wooing lesson

interesting

Lolz

Lol, u for try am again na