My husband and I got married 2
years ago. We had
accommodation problems shortly
after, so, we moved to my
parents-in-law’s apartment and
have been staying there for over a year now. I have good rapport with my
Mother in Law to the extent that
outsiders think I am her daughter.
However, there’s one thing my
Mother in Law does that I don’t
like – she still practises the old culture of using a wife as a slave
in the family. Though my
husband doesn’t attend extended
family function, my Mother in Law
will summon me to follow her
because my husband is her only son and that makes me the only
wife. Anytime we go to family
gatherings, even though there’s a
caterer to cook and wash plates,
she’ll order me to do the washing
and partake in the cooking while
other ‘senior’ wives gist and watch TV. Last month, her brother’s
grandson, a 14-year-old JS2
student, moved in with us. Just
yesterday, she told me it’s not
right for me to call the young boy
by his name and that I should start using ‘brother’ or any pet
name. I bluntly told her I can’t
because my uncles’ wives don’t
call be ‘aunty’ either. She turned it
into a heated argument and
started swearing. She later called my husband who also insisted I
can’t. It seemed my husband’s stand
got her even more irritated as she
came to meet me, telling me
matter-of-factly that I need to
follow her instructions because
they’ve paid my bride price and I reminded her it’s only ‘eru iyawo’
that my family collected as the
bride price was returned because
of this ‘claim of ownership’. She hit back by telling me sternly
that I’d regret not following her
rules and called my Father in Law
who wasn’t at home to come.
Immediately, I called my mum,
told her everything and she said I should report back how my FIL
reacts. Thank God my Father in Law
used wisdom to settle everything.
He also said such practice is
outdated and my Mother in Law
was obviously disappointed. She
is still keeping malice with me, wearing a straight face. My husband has gotten an
apartment but it’s not completed
yet. I can’t stand the tension in
the house, especially as I’m in
my third trimester of pregnancy.
What do I do now or should I apologize and do her bidding?
