1.Akpos is looking for his
phone in the darkness. He
uses the light of his lost
device. Where is it? – he asks.
Then a call comes. Akpos
answers: I will call you back
later, I’ve lost my mobile!
After thinking a bit, he tries
to dial his number on the
phone in his hands. And… he
hears a busy signal. Oh,
forget it! – says Akpos, – the
phone has been stolen and
someone has just cut my call!
2.There were three men living
together in London. An Afro-
American, a West Indian and a
Nigerian. They were all starving
because they didn't have money
to buy food.
However upon coming close to
a posh London restaurant in
this classy neighbourhood, they
decided to come up with a plan.
The Afro-American went in first.
After being seated, he ordered a
three course meal with white
wine. When he had finished the
meal, the waiter came by with
the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN, I
ALREADY PAID YOU!" - the Afro-
American shouted! The waiter
was very confused because he
could not remember being paid.
But because he did not want to
cause any trouble, he let the
brother leave.
Five minutes later, the West
Indian walked into the same
restaurant and ordered a five
course meal with red wine.
When he was finished eating,
the waiter came by to collect the
money for the food. "HEY, HEY,
LOOK AT ME CROSSES. BUT AH
PAID YOU ALREADY!" - the West
Indian shouted. This time the
manager came and had to calm
down the West Indian, because
he did not want anything to
upset the other customers. He
let the guy go.
Ten minutes later, the Nigerian
walked in. And you know how
we are. He sat down. Lit up a
cigarette, and ordered the most
expensive meal on the menu,
plus two bottles of Beer. After
he had finished, the waiter
came to collect the money for
the meal, But before the
Nigerian could say anything, the
waiter spoke to him."Sir, I have
been having all sorts of
problems all day and I can't
understand it. Two other people
like you came in earlier and ate,
and they say that they paid me
but I don't remember getting
any money from them so, "
Before he could finish, the
Nigerian interrupted, rather
emphatically, "OGA I SORRY FOR
YOU OOOO. BUT DAT NA YOUR
PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO
GIVE ME MY CHANGE!!"
3.Akpos was being discharged
from a Mental Hospital after
doctors thought he was finally
back to normal. He was put in
an ambulance to be taken back
home. He claimed he knew the
house so he led the doctors.
They took him to where he
claimed he lived.
Just as they approached a
certain house, two kids, dressed
in uniforms came out of the
house. Akpos screamed, "Those
are my children going to
school!"
A minute later, a woman came
out of the same house and
Akpos screamed, "That's my
wife, she is late for work!" This
time, the doctors were
convinced Akpos was ok and
took him out of the ambulance
but was still in chains.
Just as they were about
unlocking the chains, a man
came out of the house and
Akpos screamed, "YES! THAT'S
ME GOING TO WORK!"
4.An American lawyer and a
Nigerian are sitting next to each
other on a long flight. The
lawyer is thinking that
Nigerians are so dumb that he
can fool them easily..,....,. so the
lawyer asks if the naija guy
would like to play a fun game.
The nigerian is tired and just
wants to rest, so he politely
declines and tries to catch some
sleep. The lawyer persists and
says that the game is a lot of
fun "I ask u a question and if
you don't know the answer,
you pay me only 5dollars; you
ask me one and if I dont know
the answer, I will pay u $500.
As naija no be dull guys naau,
this catches the nigerian's
attention and to keep d lawyer
quiet, he agrees to play the
game.
The lawyer asks d 1st question
"what's the distance from earth
to the moon?
The naija guy doesn't say a
word, reaches in his pocket
pulls out 5dollars the hands it to
the lawyer. Now, it's the omo
naija turn. He ask the lawyer,
"what goes up a mountain with
3 legs and comes down with
four?
The lawyer uses his laptop,
searches the internet and even
the Library of Congress. He
sends emails to all his smart
friends he knows, all to no avail.
After 1 hour of futile searching,
he finally gives up. He wakes the
naija guy and hands him $500.
The nigerian pockets the $500
and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going crazy not
knowing the answer.
So he wakes the naija guy up
the asks, "well, so what goes up
a mountain with 3 legs and
comes down with four? The
nigerian reaches in his pocket,
hands the lawyer 5dollars and
goes back to sleep.
5.Akpos the house help, entered
Madam’s room without
knocking.
MADAM: Akpos, this is wrong,
what if I was Unclad or
dressing up?
AKPOS: That can never happen,
madam.
MADAM: How can you be so
sure?
AKPOS: I always peep first and if
you are Unclad, I’ll just wait and
watch until
you have dressed up before I
enter.
Akpos is currently in the
emergency room of a general
hospital
……….
Have a lovely weekend #fams
