Once a woman was in labor;
she was having a really tough
time dealing with the pain. The
doctor came to her husband
and her and told them of a new
experimental drug that allows
the woman to transfer 25% of
the pain to the father. The
husband feels really bad for his
wife so he decides they will try
it.
The wife takes the pill and a
few minutes later the husband
says, "I don't feel a thing. You
women are babies.
Take another pill I can handle
this." So the wife takes another
pill. Same thing happens. Her
husband tells her to take
another pill. Same thing. By
now she has transferred 75%
of her pain to her husband. She
is feeling a little pain but her
husband is still feeling nothing.
He is convinced that women
are complete wusses.
He tells her, "Take another pill.
This isn't hurting me at all. Let
me take all the pain away." So
she does. Now they are both
feeling great. A few hours later,
the wife gives birth to a
beautiful baby boy.
The next day they take their
newborn son home, and there
they find the gateman dead on
the doorstep.
.
[b]God is watching you[/b]
You're eating bread and akara
yet you're updating your status
with "I love this Burger" - God
is watching you.
Your account balance reads
N0.20 yet you're singing "She
must chop my money" - God is
watching you.
You go buy pant for alaba-suru
market (bend down select), yet
you come write "I love my new
Victoria Secret" - God is
watching you.
Your mom sells stock fish and
your dad changes money, you
turn around and say your
parents are into stock
exchange! - God is watching
you.
Your home is having a night
vigil with some folks and you
write down "Clubin Thinz" on
your PM - God is watching you.
18 years old and you're dating
a bros of 41 years and your PM
says "Can't wait to see my
baby" - God punish you - Is that
your baby or your daddy?
You and your friend are on
seperate okada and you
tweeted "Convoy Thinz" - God is
watching you
Your mother and your sister
have pot belly and you insist
your girlfriend has a flat tummy
- God is watching you.
You update your BBM status
with "I love ONLY you boo" and
45 girls/boys message your
privately with "Thanks luv" -
God is watching you.
You're 34 and you're still
playing for the Nigeria's Under
21 football team - God is
watching you.
You know the baby belongs to
that youth corper at your office,
but you told your husband
"Honey, I'm pregnant" - God is
watching you.
You travel go Togo, come back
Naija dey speak British English -
God is watching you.
*******
Only real Nigerians:
1. Check the expiry date of
gala after eating it
2. Go to church wit extension
and bb charger (charging
in His presence)
3. Update on BBM "about to
cross" get hit by a car and
still update "dying tinz"
4. Say an opening prayer at a
night club
5. Go to a supermarket, buy a
bottle of coke and spend
30 minutes snapping wit
champagne bottles
6. Wear sunshades at night
7. Wear complete rainbow
colours like its rag day and
call it colour blonding
8. Count money after
withdrawing from an ATM
(we trust no one, not even
machines)
9. Wear head warmer at 45
degrees celsius
10. Call a fat Hausa man "Alhaji"
and a thin one "Aboki"
11. Travel to china for 2 days
and come back with a
British accent.
12. Go to an eatery and buy
bottled water just to watch
a soccer match.
...
Are you a real Nigerian? I'm a
full blooded Nigerian and I'm
proud to be One.
Lesky wishes every coolvaler a very happy weekend.
