Meet Eze, Andrew’s overly enthusiastic
successor. There was a time Eze was
only known to go to school. This
school, of course, was either next door
or within a not too distant radius from
Eze’s home. For over two decades,
however, Eze’s destination has been
abroad, and it doesn’t matter what
constitutes abroad, for Nigeria is the
home country of many an Eze who
would rather be anywhere than in
Nigeria. Not minding the actual reality
of abroad, Eze obtains some strange
yet deep measure of gratification from
being abroad and is necessarily in a
state of perpetual superiority to his/
her countrymen who are back home in
Nigeria. It explains why Eze’s once
dull social media accounts suddenly
spring to life once he/she arrives in
the abroad as Eze begins to update not
just his/her profile, but also his/her
minute-by-minute engagements and
location from a train station to a
sports event. And no, it’s not because
of the electricity challenge nor the
exorbitant costs of internet
connectivity in Nigeria. Oh no, it’s
certainly not. Eze’s reasons for these
are well-nourished.
On more occasions than not, Eze’s
compatriots are in a temporary stay at
home for to emulate Eze as soon as
possible is the primary aspiration of
these countrymen of Eze’s. It is why
Eze is convinced that his/her love and
service to his/her creator is why the
creator has been so faithful as to make
way for his/her being abroad. For
those compatriots still back home, Eze
has one key advice: love and serve the
creator better! One has outlined three
overlapping courses through which to
examine this phenomenon of Eze’s
passion for being in the abroad.
Socio-economic: It has been severally
argued that the income generated from
the Diaspora (Ezes) into Nigeria
outweighs any other single source of
national revenue earnings. There is
also a school of thought that is
convinced that the Nigerian’s personal
and professional development are best
served abroad. Indeed, it is why it has
become the norm to have a stake in
the national soccer (all sports) team
once an athlete is based abroad. As the
argument goes, “if you are so good,
you’d be signed up by a foreign club”.
The same is the case with education.
Outside the reward norm of ‘going
abroad for studies’, academics in
Nigerian universities recognize a
postdoc even though there is no known
Nigerian institution offering a postdoc.
As such, a postdoc for the Nigerian
academic doubles as an opportunity
for study leave abroad!
Socio-cultural: One is aware of many
an Eze who schooled in one of
Nigeria’s tertiary institutions – from
the less prestigious to the more
prestigious – and subsequently
obtained a degree. In 2, 4, 5 or 6
years, or more, these characters never
got a selfie with the backdrop of their
alma mater’s gates/entrances.
However, once Eze got abroad for
masters or for employment with some
foreign firm, Eze’s social media got
awash with selfies in the mold of
worship. The obsession with which Eze
adorns selfies with foreign institutions
in the background is akin to the
importance of the crucifix in a
catholic church. Eze is a worshipper of
anything foreign. He may lay claim to
serving/worshipping God, but Eze’s
true god is this or that institution in
the abroad.
The excitement of being abroad as
evidenced in members of those
meaningless ‘Association of Nigerians
in XXX’ is palpable. Never mind those
from families in the lower and upper
middle class whose parents have
charged them to avoid Nigerians
abroad and ensure to enter into
wedlock with a foreigner. This,
according to their justification, is their
response to the political elite back
home that ensure to only enter into
wedlock with fellow politically/
economically elite families as a means
towards generational security. We are
all witnesses to how an electorally
active/visible Zahra Buhari suddenly
became Zahra Indimi before we could
spell cabinet. She since disappeared
into the political economy of marital
bliss!
Away from the digression, we, Ezes’
compatriots and all the bona fide Ezes
in the abroad, have on our hands a
country where at the slightest
opportune moment; parents are in a
show of supremacy over their foreign-
based children’s locations. Parents get
off on knowing that the neighbors are
well aware of their status as ‘Papa
and/or Mama Eze’ in the abroad. Some
skewed prestige! It is why there exists
those emergency Nigerians –
particularly among the female folk –
whose sole criterion for dating is that
he be foreign-based (or a foreign-
based returnee, at the very least). Even
in the mediated space, it is a genuinely
profound ‘wonder’ that neither Kizz
Daniel nor Davido could break up with
a girlfriend whose bigheadedness had
become unbearable without the threat
of a one-way ticket to ‘obodo oyibo’!
Socio-political: It is needless to rehash
the affinity of Nigeria’s political class
for the foreign hospital, the foreign
junket/shopping and the foreign
investment/real estate. In truth, this
reality is only an extension of Eze’s
typical make up. Perhaps the loudest
illustration of this in recent times is
Diezani Alison-Madueke. As petroleum
resources minister in the Jonathan
administration, fate had bequeathed
these characters with an opportunity
to elevate the Niger Delta from the
ravages of poverty and environmental
hazard into a space of Arabian-isque
development. Alas, Ms. Diezani and
her accomplices frittered away what
ought to have been golden years on
the altar of a lifestyle of private jets
for herself and her broods while in
cahoots with foreign-based financial
sharks. These are emotional subjects
which are only compounded with a
certain anyone’s boy unable to help
himself from photo-ops with pillagers
of the commonweal all in the name of
ovation journalism.
It is more worthwhile, therefore, to
assess this facet of Eze from a more
nuanced example. Nigeria’s
contribution to peace-building and
conflict resolution in Africa is
arguably second to none. While it has
become fashionable to rubbish the tag
as the giant of Africa, this appellation
remains incontrovertible as far as that
subject goes. The progressive voices of
apartheid South Africa probably knew
no better ally than Nigeria. The
commitment of successive military
regimes and even the Second Republic
government to putting an end to
apartheid in South Africa is well
documented. The records by Nigeria’s
reggae stars through the period remain
abiding referents as is the case with
Sonny Okosuns’ ‘Fire in Soweto’ and
‘Papa’s Land’. Even more celebrated is
Majek Fashek’s reverberating cry in
‘Free Africa, free Mandela’. Yet, in
spite of Nigeria’s collective and
unequivocal condemnation of
apartheid, Nigeria barely ever got any
gratitude. Today, South African-based
Ezes live in fear as his/her compatriots
have been on the receiving end of the
ugliest manifestations of xenophobia.
But our successive abroad-serving
governments continue to massage self-
ego as big brother Africa with the most
generous albeit unappreciated foreign
policy on the continent.
In Nigeria, charity went abroad. For
Nigerians, being charitable only
becomes a virtue abroad.
Consequently, Nigeria is that
geographical expression where folks
live through ad hoc measures, never
bringing their A-game to bear. This is
true for government officials as it is
for private sector personnel and
within domestic relations. Welcome to
Nigeria, the land where charity begins
abroad…
