Yes, girls too have one-night stands. It’s not all about you wooing us into your cage. We also make our choices and decide where we want it to happen.
It was one crazy Friday evening when the bad girl came out to play. One of those cold days, good for wine, movie and a cuddle.
I was on my social media stalking people and commenting on things I loved. I sent a text to one brother, surprisingly texting me back. The conversation started flowing. Silly stories about the weather, hobbies and all those funny things people discuss when they do not know you well. We had a common interest music, I was a singer, he was a Dj and we both loved wine and movies. What a coincidence. I jokingly invited him over and said I did not feel like going out. I did not think he would accept the offer but he did. I disappeared. I did not leave my numbers or directions to my house. The good girl in me bounced back but did not tell the brother I was just fooling around. I had to think about what I had just done.
At around 4pm I received a text from him, “you are quiet.” “Sorry, my boss had called for something, I got a little busy,” I had to lie. He asked if we were still on and I confirmed our hang out, so it was a date. From this time on i did not care really, I was looking forward to the night. He took the lead by now, texting me more. I played along. He told me he had a gig and he would love to have me there. I accepted the offer, dressed up and went dancing to his beats. We had a few drinks and we drove to his home. We chilled outside until his mom came to see what was going on. He stayed with his mother. So he introduced me as a friend and I was about to leave, I had come to check on him. I left with an appointment for the next day.
I slept with a clean conscience knowing I broke no heart that night. Although, no one would have died from it.
Waking up feeling a little bushed from the wine we had, I took time to clean my system and heal myself. My phone rang. It was him, so early in the morning checking how I slept. The conversation was brief, we had nothing solid to discuss only for him to confirm he was coming over as soon as he was done with his business. Indeed, night came and there he was, at the gate. My visitor with benefits. I had prepared dinner, a romantic movie, some wine…the mood was just right. The sister was hungry and someone was available. The cards were played just right, we had a long night of fun and bonding. For a minute, I would be lost in the feeling asking myself what I was doing. It had been a long time and I did not want to attach myself. We fell asleep on the floor on each other’s arms like any couple would.
Morning came, the brother did not want to leave. He wanted to spend the Sunday with me. I was in trouble, he was supposed to wake up and go. He felt he needed time to get to know me yet I was not there. I promised to check on him later just so he could be comfortable enough to leave. He left. Ours was a booming friendship now seemingly. He called me more than I called him, he came over to see me frequently and I had to get used to the idea of things changing. He would tell me his mum was asking about “this friend” she was introduced to the other night and that he did not seem himself lately like someone in love. I would keep quiet not knowing how to respond. The week was very short because I knew when weekend came he would want us to meet.
Things took a turn for worse. He called me on a Thursday telling me his mum was in hospital for a heart related problem. He asked for assistance, my car for his relatives and himself. I did not have a problem. I drove down to meet his family and drive to the hospital. I met his mum again in hospital. They all had a chat and when it was time to go, his mum thanked me for being so kind. We drove back very late, so I decided to sleep and go in the morning. When mum is not around, he is all alone. I felt a bit comfortable. The morning was time for work, he asked that I come over again on the Friday for company. i did not see a problem so I drove down again. Since his mum was in hospital I figured he needed company. It was a night of fun as usual, music and drinks. His mum called in the middle of fun and asked if he was in the house, giving him instructions and hung up.
In the morning we were woken up by his mum’s call. He answered, it was the hospital asking him to come over. he hung up and looked at me like something was wrong. “it’s the hospital, they want me to come over, mum is not doing well, the last time something like this happened was when my grandmother died. My mum has passed, I’m sure of that” he said. I told him not to think too much of the phone call maybe she was critical, we did not need to waste time. We grabbed our clothes and rushed to the hospital. I was driving, praying and holding his hand. I asked God to not let it happen. I had to be strong for him, he was quiet all the way until we reached the hospital. I found parking grabbed his hand and asked to remain in the car so that he can have a private moment with his mother but if he needed me he should just call, I will come up to see him. He hugged me and agreed.
I was so anxious. Pacing up and down the parking, checking my phone, saying a little prayer. I just did not know what to do. I had never experienced death this close or even be part of pain. I felt so weak and losing my breath. He had been in there for 30 minutes and he did not call or text me to let me know what was happening. “mum is no more” that is the text I received. I called him asking if he wanted me to come up and he said yes please. I ran up the hospital stairs only to be met by screams and tears. I had to be strong for him. I held him whilst he fell on the floor. The passage was clear, it was just us. I helped him up and took him to the car. He had already called his relatives and everyone else close to his mother. He had not told them what was going on, he just asked them to come to visit, that is what I learnt. We met them at the parking, when they saw him in tears, they all broke down and I was in the middle of all that not knowing who to comfort and who to leave out. It was a very sensitive and heart-breaking sight.
He asked me to move in. He was scared to be alone in the big house. I had no choice but to support my “boyfriend.” I moved in and helped with most of the cooking, cleaning and preparations for the funeral. I was almost in the forefront of it all. Everyone was asking who this young lady was and I did not have a title myself. I was just a girl who hooked up with a one-night stand which went terribly wrong. his family got to know I existed, it was not the time to discuss me anyway, the focus was on the situation at hand. I got my respect though, out of everything.
At the memorial service I was seated at the front as requested, I was his strength. I drove his mum’s car to the funeral parlour, it was just us and a few relatives driving their own cars. The mother was cremated so it was quite scary as I had not experienced such in my life. I failed to go into the funeral parlour, I was engulfed by emotions now, it was all too much on me. I cried alone, I could not share the moment with anyone. The short service held inside the parlour before cremation close and we had to wait for the ashes, just the two of us. He had no siblings or support. We had to sit in total silence, conversations here and there…we were not kissing or touching as we were both “grieving.”
The ashes were finally available for him to take home. He had to choose an urn first, the most expensive one. We took the ashes home, we were met by the mother’s boyfriend. He asked to join us in placing the ashes which were placed in her dressing table in the bedroom surrounded by things she loved the most and photos. The mood was sombre and I had to stay in for a full month. It was one of the toughest things I had to do in my life.
Our “relationship” faded with time. It took him a long time to heal. However, I would call him to see how he was coping. He lost himself in the emotions and turned his life upside down a bit. I had to be there to knock some sense into him which did not go well. He distanced himself. A year later, he texted me thanking me for the role I played during his loss. A story I had never shared with anyone. He asked to meet so that we can catch up and fix our friendship.
I learnt my harsh lesson yet another life lesson in loss. It took me a while to date and even then to take someone too soon.
