[b]ONE SHIRT ONE TROUSER[/b]
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Somebody tell me why before I burn up the
world and all its inhabitants!
Err….i ain’t a terrorist, i am just sitting here at
home, devouring my plate of rice and stew and
reminisicing….
It was in my year one in the University of Uyo,
we freshers had just finished a lecture at Acb
room 9 and the whole crowd of greenhorns
were spilling out of the room and racing down
the stair case to catch up with CHM III
practical at Science foundation lab when my
inner consciousness leaned over and
whispered into my ears.
“Look at that girl, she is so finnnne!”
I cast a flirty eye at the girl;
Her face was gorgeous
Her nose was long and pointed
Her skin was smooth and supple
Her eyes were scintillating
Her legs were long and amazing
Her clothes were mesmerizing
She was a goddess of beauty
A Work of art
I replied, “Oh yes, she looks good, she is off
the hook mehn”
“I bet you, you can’t get that girl” my inner
consciousness taunted me.
“I can get her!” I declared.
“You see all your male colleagues have gotten
girlfriends already and you are the only one
without a girlfriend. You can’t get this girl!”
“Watch me get her!” I yelled and I hurried down
the staircase after the Goddess whose legs
seemed to be floating on the air.
“Hello good afternoon, my name is Leroi, I
would like to be friends with you”
Miss Awesome gave a smug smile. She stared
at my shirt for some seconds, and said in a
melodious tone, “interesting”. She turned
around and floated away in the opposite
direction.
….Love is like a butterfly……
I am in love…Heigh ho!
For one week, I searched everywhere on
campus for Miss Awesome. I even entered the
female hostels and conducted a room to room
search to no avail…she was mysterious, no one
knew her name, her department nor her faculty.
On a Tuesday evening, I hurried to Akpan Ekpo
market to collect my Use of English term paper
assignment from the typist when Miss
Awesome floated past me with two guys.
“Hello, Excuse me! Hello, excuse me?”
“Yes?”
“Hey, we met the other day at Acb…please can I
get to know your name and maybe get your
phone number?”
Miss Awesome eyes hovered on my face and
then moved to my shirt and trouser. She
smiled and moved on without replying me.
My inner consciousness whispered, “You see,
she was looking at your shirt buddy, she was
accessing you. You are wearing the same shirt
and black jean that you wore on the first day
you approached her. It looks like you have only
one shirt and trouser. Can’t you see her flashy
dress, she is a fashionista!”
“But I don’t repeat same clothes every day.
This is just a coincidence! I wear different
clothes everyday” I argued with my inner
consciousness.
“She doesn’t know that”
I resolved that inasmuch as I liked my current
light blue shirt and black jean, I will not wear
them any longer.
Hello market, can I get some new clothes?
Green longsleeved shirt for Monday
Red checkered shirt for Tuesday
Grey short sleeved shirt for Wednesday
Blue shirt with white stripes for Thursday
Maroon coloured shirt for Friday
Yellow polo for Saturday weekend lectures
Five chinos Trousers, two black and one blue
jeans.
…I have been searching for true love and I am
gonna keep right on searching till I find….
For two weeks I wore my different clothes on
each day of the week everywhere searching for
Miss Awesome.
“Miss Awesome where are you?”
….I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love….
Two weeks passed and I decided to once again
wear my light blue shirt and black jean on a
Wednesday morning.
As soon as I walked in through First Gate, my
candy crush, my chocolate and vanilla crush;
Miss awesome was floating towards me from
the opposite direction.
Halt one two! Right about turn!
I swiftly marched towards her.
Jeez! For the third time, I am wearing the same
cloth!
“Hi, good morning, I have been searching
everywhere for you on this campus, where have
you been?”
“Really?” Her eyes seemed to inquire as she
gazed at me.
Is she looking at me? Does she think that I
have only this one shirt and trouser, oh lawd,
why didn’t I meet her yesterday when I wore
my designers polo and grey Chinos?”
“Excuse me, I am in a hurry, heading to
Annex…” Miss awesome said, as she began
floating away.
How can I allow her leave? Mbanu! I pulled her
right arm…
“Please, its not what you think, I can explain….i
have many clothes…i don’t repeat clothes, its
just that when I wear other clothes, I don’t run
into you. Yesterday I wore…”
“What are you saying?” Miss Awesome paused
and looked at me with disbelief written all over
her face.
“I am saying that you shouldn’t judge me
because this is the third time you are seeing
this shirt on me…yesterday I wore…”I rambled
on. An onlooker on seeing my facial features
would have thought that I was under cross
examination in a law court.
“This is crazy! What has your shirt got to do
with me? What are you talking about?” Miss
Awesome demanded, raising her voice.
“I thought you were looking at my shirt and
judging me…please don’t be annoyed, you
know I love you so much and i….”
My candy crush had floated away from the
scene leaving me in the company of some
onlookers…
I turned angrily to confront my inner
consciousness but the rascal was weeping and
singing:
…some broken hearts never mend
Some memories never end
Some tears will never dry
My love for you will never die…”
[b]THE END[/b]
