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OUR BESTFRIENDS WEDDING
OUR BEST FRIENDS WEDDING FINALE
So it ends today, it’s been both fun and challenging bringing this to you. Your second-guessing was as fun as it was sometimes annoying when you guessed right or gave us an angle we forgot to explore. I, @cikk0 and Thetoolsman will like to thank you for giving us this opportunity to entertain you. Suffice to say we have quite a bit more planned. As this is the finale, let’s warn you, this post is LONG. Lastly, I hate to gloat, but to Jasmine: gotcha! Cikko, out.
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Previously on “Our Best Friends Wedding”…
* * * * * * *
“But Eno is fun sha.” Kemi chirped, “And she’s always calling you out on your B.S.” she continued,
“When she isn’t talking politics!” Charles roared. Both women laughed; Charles winced.
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Derrick’s…
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Charles was again looking at his phone; giggling to himself.
“Up here dude.” Jade yelled.
“I’m so sorry, Jade. Chioma’s been cracking me up all evening.”
“Yeah. I noticed,” she quipped,
* * *
“How did it go?” Jade’s face was completely devoid of expression as she started to reply:
“In one word it was…” Jade hesitated as she thought out the appropriate word.
“Kemi, it was fucking awful…”
****************************
“Erm… ladies. Excusez moi,” he eased himself into his bedroom and into the adjoining toilet while the phone rang.
In the bathroom, Charles was pleading, “No, no, no. It’s not like that. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t want this but just give me a few more weeks. Promise, promise, promise.”
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“Oya oya do quick, look the phone over before the cow returns!” Jade encouraged. Kemi looked at the phone and pressed a couple of buttons.
“That’s weird…” Kemi hummed.
“Why would Cha-cha be receiving calls from Eno in secret?”
*****************************
Charles took a deep breath and tried to talk. “It’s just… we just… you just mean so much to me as a friend and we really don’t know if this is more than the physical…”
“Oh no … no no no Charles. You didn’t just say that.” Jade got off the bed dragging the duvet along with her.
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He pulled his phone out and began typing a message with a wry smile on his face:“I think we’re all clear babe. All clear.”
A few moments later, with his eyes glued to the handset the whole time, a notification came up. “Delivered: Eno.”
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He brought out his writing pad and wrote at the top of a free page in bold type:
TO THE WOMEN I WRONGED.
He drew a crooked line underneath the words then he paused while staring into the ceiling. He looked down, fighting tears,
and continued to write…
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Dearest,
I have wronged you. You might know it or not, but I am aware. I put you on a kind of ‘dating list’ I made and this is why I seemed to suddenly pop up in your lives. I don’t know why I made the list. Perhaps pride, perhaps my ego needed a boost. Perhaps I honestly meant to get hitched to one of you.
Now, it’s all a blur. I’m sure I’ve offended and hurt you with my actions. For any and all of my transgressions, please find it in your hearts to accept my apology. It is heartfelt for I have seen the consequence of my actions and it has rendered me speechless.
Sincerely,
Charles.
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Private Garden. Six months later.
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Everyone stood up as the switch in music signaled the arrival of the bride. Beyonce’s voice gently escaped the hidden speakers:
Here I am, looking in the mirror
An open face, the pain erased
And now the sky is clearer
I can see the sun
Now that all, all is said and done, oh
Jade, arm in arm with her father, glided towards the beautifully assembled altar. She heard female voices whisper around her:
“She looks fabulous!”
“Who did her makeup? I want!”
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Derrick’s. 7 months before the wedding…
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She watched Jade walk out in a rage. Poor girl. She looked again at the table she’d had her eyes on for the greater part of the evening… or at least since they’d both walked in. Now it was just Charles. The smug bastard. She left her seat by the piano player and floated angrily across the room. He was trying to get the money for the bill together as he saw her approaching.
“Hey Eno! Fancy meeting you here…”
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It had been six months since he’d heard about her pregnancy, she thought. She smiled as she remembered his reaction. It had been the smartest and weirdly the most responsible thing he’d done since they had known each other. And now they were getting married. She smiled and continued up the aisle…
*********************
“You rat bastard, you!” Eno spat.
“Someone’s happy to see me,” Charles answered sweetly.
“She was until you turned out to be an asshole in ape’s clothing,” she quipped.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“That beautiful lady you just spent half an hour and thirty grand pissing off!” Charles was dumbstruck. The directness of the attack made him still.
“That’s your best friend Jade isn’t it? You like her don’t you? You this man-child!” she continued. Charles sighed and began to smile. Guiltily. Eno shook her head as she sat down on the seat vacated by Jade moments earlier.
“Why the alpha-homie charade all of a sudden? You forget that I know you ehn?” And like always, Eno was blunt. To a fault.
“Charles, first you call me up out of freakin’ nowhere and act weird during dinner. Now this. What the hell is going on? You know I’m not moving till I find out right?”
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All her friends from work had turned up; even some from school. As she glided down the constructed aisle, she couldn’t help but notice faces. Joke. Halima. Wow, she came? Jade thought.
Way out in front, she saw Promise.
He looked at her with a mock accusing stare. She almost tripped upon seeing him. It had been so long.
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“So, there it is… My lame ass story and excuse me for coming up with the deed-map” Charles finished.
“Hmm,” Eno snorted, “I should kill you, you know,”
“Yes, but surely you see where I am coming from,” Charles pleaded.
“I sorta do yea, but it still stinks. Mega stench actually.”
“Oh.”
“End it. End it now. Before you hurt more people… or should I say ‘someone’ .”
“Well… there’s a few things…”
“Like what, Charles?” he seemed to ponder for a short while before reaching into his pocket to produce a small box. He popped it open and Eno yelped.
“You really bought a ring?!”
“It appears I did.”
“Charles, you have the patent for bachelorhood. Can you return this?”
“I was told I could. But still… there’s some stuff I need to know babe.” Eno laughed sarcastically.
“Like your stand with Jade?”
“Perhaps. I don’t know. Look, leave me alone jo.”
**********
Jade was now close to the altar. She looked around the church yet again and allowed her eyes settle on a few people. A silent greeting. Everybody looked wonderful. Everything looked wonderful in fact. The garden had been spruced up in little bits and pieces just to make this day unique. This was her day. And by damn, it was going to be perfect.
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“Promise me you’ll do the right thing. Talk to Jade. Properly. Not like a chicken with a full wallet. And you’ll return the ring…”
“Ehn… when the coast is clear for all that you’d be the first to know,” Charles blurted.
“Hmmm. I’ll bug you oh!” Eno didn’t know much about Charles’ past but she knew when he was lying. He was an easy read.
Which made the text she received from him a month from that day more shocking…
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Six months before the wedding…
*******************************************
He put the phone down and tried to process the fact that Jade was not only preggers but also getting hitched. He did not know where the tears came from. But they came. Along with it, shame and regret. However, he didn’t sob and he didn’t cry for long. Just long enough. He called Jade’s phone.
“Hey there,” she droned,
“Where are you?” Charles inquired.
“Not at home.”
“Work then?”
“No, I’m on leave. What is it?”
“I need to see you. I want to… congratulate you in person. Great things are happening for you. I’m glad.”
“I’m glad too.” She replied with a bit more mirth than before. Something in his head clicked into place. He was suddenly assertive.
“Err… jus-..just wait… I’m coming.”
“Huh? Where do you know that you’re coming to?” But line was already dead.
*********************
The officiating Pastor cleared his throat as he began the practiced rendition: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”
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“How did you know where to find me?” she yelled at him. He smiled confidently.
“Jade, I know you now. This garden; your grandfathers garden has been your safe haven since forever.”
“So now what?”
**********************
“If there is anyone here who has any reason why these two should not be joined…” the Pastor scanned the congregation, daring any to step forth. They all seemed sufficiently scared because no one stood up.
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“Congrats are in order,” he started. She looked at him defiantly; arms folded across her chest. She was unmoved. As if willing him to say what he really came to say:
“Don’t squeeze your arms so tightly, won’t it affect, erm… the baby?” Jade looked away – unimpressed. She reached out to touch one of the plants. “Jade I am sorry. I have hurt you deeply.” He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact.
“A little late now, isn’t it?” she spat. And Charles, for the first time in his life, went for broke.
“I miss you. Endlessly, consistently and painfully. I miss you as much because of the circumstances of our last encounter as I do just because.” He winced for a second then continued.
“Just because you make me smile, just because you are my friend and with Kemi, three of us are three of me.”
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“Do you Jadesola Omowunmi Adeyemi take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and health, in affluence and poverty till death do you part?” She was as sure of this as she could possibly be on any other subject.
“I do.”
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“Just because I’m a man at everything else but the one thing that matters… That night in your arms, I tasted perfection with my lips, touched it with my hands and nestled in its bossom.” Jadesola wrinkled her nose at what she considered corny lyrics, but within she buzzed nonetheless.
Unfazed, Charles continued: “And in truth, cliché as it sounds, it scared me. Because for once I lost control. Didn’t care, couldn’t care. You think it’ll be awkward with your best friend then you find out it isn’t…
“Just because you call me out on my bullshit. Just because I love you Jade.”
He paused as he became overwhelmed by his own emotiveness; as he realized the words that had escaped his mouth. Coming to grips with his feelings was hard but now it suddenly seemed bearable.
*****************************************************
“And do you,” Pastor Promise cleared his throat before continuing, “Charles Effiong take this woman to be your lawful…”
“I do!” Pastor Promise cleared his throat again and spoke in a much lower register while leaning towards Charles: “I never finish!”
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“Yes, I am stupidly, derangedly – if that’s even a word – in love with you. From day one, you disarmed me with ease…” And now he looked her in the eye. The tears that flowed freely from her spoke volumes to him and Charles laughed as much as his broken state would permit.
“You’re not fucking pregnant are you?” torn between her urge to cry buckets and her urge to chuckle, she shook her head. She mustered enough presence of mind to mumble: “Kemi. Crazy.”
“I’ll kill her when I see her.”
“I’ll kill you now if you don’t kiss me,” Jade sniffed.
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“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. E don tey…” Pastor Promise announced. And as he did that day at her grandfathers garden, Charles took Jade in his eager arms and kissed her till her world spun and his orbited hers. They parted lips for a second, out of breath but ready to go again. They did. It felt brand new every time. It was only for a moment but on her lips he tasted a love that he’d almost jeopardized. They parted lips still locked in an embrace that allowed no other existence. It was like they were alone in a roomful of people. “Tell me again,” Charles probed, “or I won’t kiss you in the car.”
“Ehn don’t kiss me now,” she dared,
“Oya abeg na,” he whispered,
“I love you, you ignoramus, I love you,” she breathed before he completed his plea.
Seated in the front row, her other visibly pregnant bestfriend was buried in a Kleenex as she wept: “I don’t believe it. My best friends…”
THE END