MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS
............
“When I got home that night as my wife served
dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got
something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I
want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She
didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead
she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She
threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,
you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to
each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted
to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;
she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her
anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our
house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with
me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I could not
take back what I had said for I loved Jane so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and
found her writing something at the table. I didn’t
have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an
eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was
still there at the table writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but
needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle
to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons
were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s
time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our
broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something
more, she asked me to recall how I had carried
her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She
requested that every day for the month’s duration
I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door
ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I
accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. .
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since
my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So
when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us,
daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over
ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her
eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the
divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put
her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young any more. There were
fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a
minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman
who had given ten years of her life to me. On the
fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane
about this. It became easier to carry her as the
month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She
tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a
suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses
have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she
had grown so thin, that was the reason why I
could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain
and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I
reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad,
it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his
father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our
son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face away because I was afraid I might
change my mind at this last minute. I then held
her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I
held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding
day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the
last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our
life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped
out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I
was afraid any delay would make me change my
mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door
and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the
divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched
my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I
moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I
won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn’t value the
details of our lives, not because we didn’t love
each other anymore. Now I realize that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I
am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst
into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet
of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me
what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll
carry you out every morning until death do us
apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands,
a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find
my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been
fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy
with Jane to even notice. She knew that she
would die soon and she wanted to save me from
the whatever negative reaction from our son, in
case we push through with the divorce.— At least,
in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the
car, property, the money in the bank. These
create an environment conducive for happiness
but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do
those little things for each other that build
intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to
you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many
of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave
up.
Remember love is the richest of all treasures.
Without it there is nothing; and with it there is
everything. Love never perishes , even if the
bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just
as the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it,
even if it is completely ground up, similarly the
basis of love is the soul, and it is indestructible
and therefore eternal. Beauty can be destroyed ,
but not love.
