I'll soon be brother Femi's wife.
The joy in my heart knows no bounds.
Our one and only brother Femi. The dream man of all the ladies in church.
Brother Femi Awosika is a fiery brother in my church. He isn't really a leader in church yet but he is on his way there because everyone knows he has the qualities.
He's tall, dark, well built and handsome. He has a well paying job and a beautiful car.
His tongues sound like thunder and his dance moves during our praise sessions are second to none. He dissects the Word from scriptures and dishes out revelation like fried rice.
Well, he didn't exactly ask me to be his wife. These were his words;
"Sis Tiwa, I've watched you for some time now and you're an amazing and intelligent lady. I'd like us to be friends, if you're comfortable with it".
I was Flabbergasted. Of course I'm comfortable it.
Ever since then, we'd had amazing times together. He prayed with me, called me for my counsel on important issues in his life - he said I was wise and I gave good counsel - and sometimes he took me out.
He didn't really mention a love relationship to me but I "knew" he was just waiting for the right time. He once asked if I was in a love relationship and I said no. He even called me "my dear" on two occasions.
A few brothers in church approached me for a relationship but I turned them down. I was waiting for brother Femi to make his move and "shoot his shot".
So imagine my joy yesterday, at church, when he asked if I could come by his family house in the evening because he had a special announcement and he wanted me there as his close friend.
I don't want to be too forward but I think he wants to ask me to marry him.
I've been feeling different kinds of butterflies in my tummy.
I prayed about it briefly yesterday night and even though I didn't particularly hear anything from God, I felt peace... or something like that.
I wasn't really thinking straight while praying, all I could think of was brother Femi. How perfectly my height complemented his, and how our hands fitted into each others.
I couldn't believe I hit it this big.
Brother Femi is a catch, every lady in my church can testify.
I got up from my bed and went to take a shower, all the while, thinking of the beautiful kids I would bare for brother Femi.
By 5pm, I parked my car in the Awosikas compound and walked into the house. A few people were there, eating and drinking. I greeted brother Femi's parents and a few other people and sat down.
I was beginning to get nervous when brother Femi came out and gave me a hug.
"Welcome Tiwa, thank you for coming. This means a lot to me"
"It's nothing. I'm glad I came"
"I can't wait for you to hear the exciting news" He beamed from ear to ear.
Then a lady in a red top and jean trousers walked in and he went to hug her. She was tall, almost Femi's height.
He held her and brought her towards me.
"Jane, meet Tiwa, my very good friend from church that I told you about" He was smiling widely now.
He continued "Tiwa, meet Jane, my fiancee, she just flew into the country from England. We're getting married soon and that's the exciting announcement I'm about to make to everyone. But as my friend, I'm giving you the privilege of knowing before the others."
My heart dropped. What? Fiancee? How? So brother Femi has a fiancee? How come he never told me about her? Why had he led me on all this while?
"Nice to meet you Tiwa. Femi has told me so much about you" The lady's voice brought me back to my heart breaking reality.
I couldn't open my mouth. I felt my heart aching. Was this actually happening? Anger, hatred and pain filled my heart.
I picked my bag from the chair and walked out of the house.
Few hours later, I got a text from Femi that read;
"I'm really sorry Tiwa. I just processed everything in my mind and I realized that you never knew I had a girlfriend outside the country. You probably feel like I led you on. I'm really sorry. I wanted nothing more than friendship from you. I really enjoyed your company and learnt a lot from you and that's why I asked you to be my friend. You are an amazing confidant.
I was foolish, I should have told you everything and made my intentions known.
I hope you can forgive me and still be my friend. I know God will send you a man who will love you. You are a great lady and any man would be blessed to have you."
I dropped my phone as hot tears splashed on my cheeks. I had been friend zoned.
*************
Assumptions, especially in relationships are very costly.
In every relationship, it is important for the two parties to be on the same page. Intentions and motives should be made clear and there should be visible plans and actions towards it.
Dear brother,
Don't be unnecessarily close to a lady you have no intentions of marrying. If you must be, clearly explain your intentions to her and tell her if you have someone else in mind.
Dear sister,
Don't push other men away because of a man that has not told you the plans he has for you. If he doesn't see a future with you, please feel free to see a future with someone who's ready.
Don't make costly assumptions. Some men are around you to waste your time. So try to get him to make his intentions known. Don't hang around a man who sees no future with you.
Let's be guided this year please.
God bless you.
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