Much emphasis were now laid on the competition, yet my concern for the first position still bordered me. That time, I wasn't much interested in the post of the senior prefect as was before, because I knew that there was another competent student, and the authority I wanted to express with that office was already coated strongly by someone and doubled by my classmates. I then came to understand that when the nakedness of one's selfishness is clothed, then the eyes of love are opened. The eyes of love see in a different way, quite different and most times unreasonable. It was something amazing to hear one's name on the radio and then on the television. Those days were wonderful, when I came back and my mum told me
"Nne, you and your friend were wonderful on the television. You made my heart throb so fast". We were later told that all the teachers together with the principal had forfeited their lectures to watch us on the principal's television. Many students didn't watch us because they were in the class, but in the evening after the evening news, the full section of the competition was broadcasted. The next day was awesome, our classmates were wonderful. We told them our experiences. Yet, Jude came before Austin and began to tease him
"Austin, on behalf of the class, I wish to thank you for your success, but I just wish to enquire, who asked you to hug Amara on that stage?". Everyone stated laughing including Austin, and KC added
"Maybe that was the reason why he agreed to go for the competition at the first place" there was more laughter. Chibyk said, "Austin, it seems you do not understand the price of one hug nowadays". While he spoke there were series of laughter, and he continued
"And you know that we are in recession, so for 90 degrees hug, you pay #500, for 180 degrees, you pay #1200"
"Ah ah, why naa?" Austin interrupted
"Shut up and listen" Jude reprimanded jokingly while he concluded "It seems you don't know the consequences of hugging somebody without permission from the higher authorities. Do you know how many people you sent to the infirmary when they saw you at the television". When the class was already aflame with laughter he said again
"Ugo and Chimezie am I lying?" people started laughing at them. Calling their names suggested that they were victims. He concluded "Please Chibyk tell him the price" and Chibyk continued.
"From the information reaching us, you had 360 degrees hug without permission, and that one is #4500".
Austin shouted "Jesus!". All were laughing
"Stop shouting Jesus and give us your money because I know the condition I found Jude yesterday because of that" everyone started laughing at Jude who was then looking at Chibyk. I then stood up and went to Jude and hugged him. There was a shout from our class that they forgot we were still in the class. Jude stood like a tree while I hugged him. Jude's facial expression alone constituted laughter not to talk of when he intended using it to cause humour. He began to smile causing an increase in the laughter. He then said
"It seems I'm healed already". We laughed. Chibyk then said
"Amara please I was also affected" We laughed then I went and hugged him and he shouted
"Anointing!" The whole class laughed. Jude then said
"Austin, you are not owing anymore". As if it was planned other boys chorused in unison "Noooooooo". I started hugging them one by one. And for the moment, I forgot that I lost my dad. I knew that my classmates did that just to make me happy. They were more appreciative that I could then socialize with them.
It was true that I enjoyed some sort of celebrity, admiration and privileges, the heaviness of my father's death crushed on me. The thought of being fatherless, the thought of my mum being called a widow, the sight it created seeing her on mourning white, the thought of having an empty room devoid permanently of its owner. Lastly, the thought of not seeing my dad again, it was horrible. I thought about Austin, how he must have felt when he lost his dad at the age of ten. I had to conclude that the world is mysterious. The principal had called us out during the assembly and officially announced our success. Many teachers congratulated us and many gave us money. It was there at the assembly, that the Principal announced my father's death. It drew a wide range of sympathy to me. What amazed people much was my calmness and the spirit I had, with which I entered the competition. Many couldn't fathom that someone who had lost her father the previous day, could enter a competition and came out successful. I didn't claim the credit alone, I had in my heart those who never allowed me to give up, starting from my mum, uncle Mike, Mrs Nwaforaku, my classmates and my dear Austin. All those things never made me halt our lessons.
Uncle Mike took us before his students and introduced us as those representing the state. One couldn't imagine their boys. Their advances were much, many tried to please me in anyway they could. It was while I rejected a more childish fellow that I learnt that he had set a bet on wooing me. When it didn't work out for him, his friends held him. I noticed the way most of them frequented their class especially when they knew we were going to be there. Austin usually laughed when I told him my experiences and he would call me celebrity. Uncle Mike brought out books on the formation of words, words formed from different languages and why they were so. Word like "pulchritude" was formed from a Latin word "pulchre" meaning "beautiful". They were much but that was our challenge. I kept wondering to myself why we should begin with four subjects and then we would end with a spelling bee, it wasn't much wonderful. We later came to know that the spelling bee was the last resort. Of course I had no need asking how many schools would be there. If we should represent Anambra state, other states wouldn't be left behind. We were told that other schools in other states were not smiling at all. In all these, I still had dad to bury.
Seeing my father lying on the state, looking miserable and with his face rarely resembling him, not only convinced me of the futility of life but engaged me with a rhetorical question
"Dad, is that you?"
Something in me convinced me all the while that my dad wasn't dead, he was somewhere hiding or maybe resting. He would appear in due time. To say whether he was alive, that I couldn't answer. To say whether he was resting, I may say yes, but whether he was coming back to our home, his posture in state couldn't convince me. I was led around the glass covered coffin by my brother's wife, I wept bitterly. My dad was gone. His casket was closed, put back into the ambulance. The siren went high into the atmosphere. The sound was engulfing to me. They said that the siren was always put on in ambulances during burials in other to prevent the drivers from hearing the voices of the the dead people. I wanted the driver to put off the siren so that I could hear my father's voice for the last time. They never allowed me enter the ambulance, it was my eldest brother who did. I said that I would enquire from him whether he heard father's voice, or whether the siren blocked it. We were all wearing black upon black. It was only my mum who wore white gown made of lace material. She looked miserable and I imagined how tender she loved him. Myself and my brothers used to gossip about them. They were too playful, they chatted like kids, joked like friends, gossipped like girls and laughed boisterously. I wondered what their love was like, how my dad wooed her and how she fell for him. All the 'gara gara' she must have done for him, yet she later became his wife, mourning him. All the forming she did for him, how resilient and resolute my dad was to get her. I thought about their love that began in a bus, when my father paid for her transport fare saving her the embarrassment from the conductor. How my mother could offer nothing other than "thank you", and how proud she became of him, when she later came to love him. That love was vanished right before her. She then mourned him. She was given TomTom to leak. I was sitting by her side in the car that accompanied my father's corpse to the church for the final mass. When we got there, I saw our Principal, Mrs Nwaforaku and Ezenwa, uncle Mike, some functionaries and some of our class members, but I didn't see Austin. They were already sitting down at the church. I didn't want to think that Austin didn't come. I just presumed that he must have gone out shortly before my arrival, perhaps to ease himself. The Church was filled up to the brim with those who came to pay their last respect to my father, the major spiritual assistance my father needed in order to make it before God. We were told that it is there that one knows those who really love him, then I looked around to see those who really cared for my dad. I searched for Austin again with my eyes when the procession began, yet I didn't see him where my classmates were, then I began to ponder on the type of explanation he was going to give me that would not only be reasonable but cogent enough for absenting himself. It didn't last much till I saw him on a red cassock and white surplice, carrying the long cross at the procession. Then, my emotions coupled with mixed feelings, got high when I saw Mathias and Samuel on the same vestments, with candle stands on their hands accompanying him as acolytes. I just whispered to myself
"My God". Many thoughts came to mind. I wondered whether they took permission from school because of me, because from what Austin told me about the seminary, no one is given permission for burial except at the death of a direct relative. At least, to the best of my ability, I can't remember our school being represented in this way in the burial of a student. I then knew that people cared for me. I took the readings with my immediate elder brother, I took the first reading and he took the second. I watched Austin bowed with me while he received me on the altar. His eyes met mine and he withdrew his as fast as he could. I concentrated. I watched the priest's lips moved while he rendered the homily. He talked about the good deeds my dad accomplished. I wondered if my father was that good, why the need for the mass. But I realized that man is simply imperfect, no matter how perfect we think he is. My eldest brother gave the vote of thanks, he thanked the nine priests that were present and three Senior seminarians on white soutane. I recognized two, they worked in our parish at Onitsha, and the third one, my brother's classmate at primary school.
Shortly before the final rite took place, Rev. Fr Johnbosco, the chief celebrant after narrating some of his experiences with my father, how my father sponsored him when he was at the verge of leaving the seminary, how he continued helping him out when the going was rough, he then concluded,
"If I do not say this, I may not sleep well today". Myself, I wondered what was that he wanted to say, because he has given his own eulogy and experiences, he then continued,
"Some of us do not know Godwin Obadike's daughter, she's in front, Amara stand up". Then I knew while he said that, I stood up and he continued
"If you have been following the National Quiz competition, you will know what I'm talking about".
When Father said that, my heart melted down my stomach. I wanted him to stop, he was drawing excessive sympathy and high expectations adding to the ones we had already. Father continued
"When Amara first met me, she told me that she was going to represent her school at the competition, that I should pray for her. I told her not to worry that everything was going to be okay if she studies well. She later came back telling me that they made it to the state level, I still promised her my prayers. She later came to me and told that it was remaining only two days before the competition and that she was scared. After encouraging she went on. I became more scared when a day to the competition, this little girl lost her father".
When Fr said that, people began to sigh sympathetically and I began to hear some comments, "Poor child, it's a pity" and many other comments, but I remained calm. Anyway, Father added
"But do you know what? What surprised me more was that in spite of the psychological effect and the trauma she was facing, she had to go on with the competition because she was selected by her school. I am very glad to announce to you that Amara here, together with her colleague went there and took the first position, qualifying to represent Anambra state at the federal level"
Before he could finish, there was already an effusive rounds of applause. Immediately, I glanced at Austin, he smiled and withdrew his eyes. I wondered who asked fr to say all these, in front of my principal, teachers and fellow students. I thanked God that he was able to acknowledge at least that I didn't do it alone. Unknown also to Father, was the fact that some people failed their answer for us to succeed, they were present even at the sanctuary. People began to murmur in the church and fr had to calm them down with the mic. Fr concluded
"I just wish to commend her courage, together with her colleague. We pray that they make us proud at the Federal level. Excellence! That's what we are known for isn't it?" People chorused,
"It is"
Father then called on another concelebrating priest for the final rite which he performed solemnly, the cross bearer standing at the center end accompanied by the two acolytes. Then Father incensed the casket going around it while the choir sang "oh Jerusalem". The body was carried back to the ambulance accompanied by many other cars in a convoy, and with the "wee-woo" sound of the siren, my father's body was taken to the place where he was going to stay till Christ comes again.
I was still giving my dad another chance to get up before the priest finished saying the prayer at the grave, but he didn't. I extended the time when our parish priest poured in the first sand, he didn't. I asked him not to allow my mum do that, he didn't listen. My mum was crying as she poured in the sand on the shovel handed over to her by the priest. When my brother did, my father didn't wake up. I knew he loved me, he loved me perhaps if he saw me with the shovel and the farewell sand, he would rise up, but he didn't. I poured in my sand amidst tears, then I felt soft hands on my shoulder, he said.
"Its okay, it's okay". Uncle Mike was right behind me together with Mrs Nwaforaku. I leaned on him then he handed me over to Nwaforaku. We went inside.
Together with my brothers, I danced with my father's picture, and people poured me money. I later came and greeted my principal and teachers and classmates where they were eating. When Samuel and Mathias approached me, I wanted to ask
"How did you make it?" But they didn't allow me to before Samuel said
"We left for our midterm break today"
Then I said "wow, and you were able to make it in time?"
"Yea, we left in time"
Sincerely speaking, those boys wouldn't cease to amaze me. I knew I didn't tell them anything about the burial, but I wouldn't say I didn't know who must have informed them, but they came. They really made my day. Mathias said
"Austin came to our feast, but you didn't". When he said, I wanted to respond but he interrupted in time
"Don't worry we are aware. He told us that you were preparing for your father's burial"
"And we made our own plans too" Samuel concluded. Those guys were full of surprises. In spite of the late information, they made it and even served at mass. When I looked at them, I said
"You guys really made my day. I don't know how to say it but I'm really grateful. For everything, thank you. Someday, I know that I will have a better chance of showing my appreciation". They laughed
"We have done nothing, your situation was more pathetic, you are courageous"
"Thank you"
"We must be on our way Amara".
"So soon".
"We have stayed enough, we haven't reached home" said Samuel.
"You serious, you really have tried". Immediately, Austin came around.
"Mati, sami"
"They are set to go" I said
"Already!"
"Have you forgotten we came directly from school" said Mathias..
"It's true, okay maybe you should come and join our bus or rather we join uncle Mike, there are some spaces in his car" Austin offered.
"Is he ready to go" Samuel asked
"Yea, as soon as they come back from the condolence room, we leave" immediately, uncle Mike with the principal and the teacher came out. They must have gone to see my mum.
"They are here already" I said and we approached them. While I talked with the principal, Austin talked to uncle Mike about them. When all were set, they left.
Everything after burial was still normal, the classes, the lessons, gists, chats, studies and gossips. We still went to uncle Mike's place and his students still behaved mischievously. It even increased since they learnt that we won the state level and we were moving over to Abuja for the federal level. But life still went on. Exams still approached and lessons cut for us to prepare for our exams. The exams still passed, and the people that used to go up the stage still did. The smell of Christmas season hovered around and harmattan still came. Those who sold Vaseline still made their gain and those who refused to buy were whitened by the harmattan. New clothes were produced for the Christmas while our result was produced also.
There was something significant about our SS2 first term. First, we used to offer 17 subjects in our SS1. When we entered SS2, we chose our subjects according to Science and Art, and that reduced our subjects from 17 to 12, nine WAEC subjects and three extra curricula subjects. At the beginning, there seemed to be an academic turnaround. Our answer scripts were then shared one after the other, one boy known as Hyacinth, an art student was taking the lead. When about five subjects had been shared, he was scoring above me in four subjects and was above Austin in five subjects. Myself I was passing Austin with about four subjects. I was generally glad that I was scoring higher than him with the already shared scripts. I knew that Hyacinth was using the advantage of the easiness of some art subjects when compared with some science subjects to maneuver us, but I knew that there were some general subjects I do well than him, and I hoped I would use them to make-up for the marks he was passing me with and eventually, score higher than him. The plan seemed to be working when about seven subjects were shared, and he was passing Austin in all and myself with five subjects, while I passed Austin with about five subjects. It was later that we came to know that another two art students were passing Austin with about three art subjects.
It was true that I was scoring higher than Austin but I wasn't at rest till I made sure that the last paper was shared. I got 87 in chemistry while Austin got 86, I got 83 in physics, he got 82. I got 85 in English and he got 83, I got 98 in Igbo while he got 97, I got 96 in biology, he got 95. In total I was above him with only six marks which were not much to talk about, because I know that only one mistake could destabilize all the marks. Of course my hunch was right beginning with Hyacinth. It was recorded that Hyacinth was scoring above Austin in 8 subjects, but Austin destabilized that with only two subjects, mathematics and biology. Austin got 97 in maths and 95 in biology, while Hyacinth got 73 and 82 respectively in both subjects thereby creating a huge gap. Austin knew that Hyacinth wasn't that good at maths, though he would always represent himself there. Hyacinth didn't also consider biology as a threat and Austin maximized the opportunity. I should not talk about those other guys, they got whipped just by Austin's flip of finger in maths. As Austin found his way up again, I followed him. Austin passed me again. He destabilized me only with two subjects, the same maths and then economics. He got 97 and 93 in them respectively while I got 92 and 86 respectively. He found his way up again, maintaining the first position.
When uncle Mike saw our result he asked me,
"Amara which subjects are you good at?"
"All" I answered
"So which of them is your best?" He asked again
"I don't really have, I'm good in all" I replied back.
"Good, so as Austin's classmate and academic rival, which ones are his weak subjects?" I looked at Austin and immediately he said,
"Don't look at him"
"He is good in all, I don't know".
"Good" he retorted and faced Austin. I wondered why he was asking those questions, but whatever be the reason, I never wanted to disappoint him.
"Austin which subjects are you good at?" He asked again
"All, I think" he answered. At least I was happy we had the same answer.
"Is it all or are you thinking?" He enquired.
"All" Austin finalized
"Which ones are your best?"
"Mathematics, biology and economics" Austin replied
"So as Amara's classmate and academic rival, which ones are her weak subjects?"
"She is good in all, but to myself, she has never exceeded me in maths and economics"
"Good" he retorted and faced me immediately "Amara, how many subjects did Austin exceed you with?"
"Two !" I answered quickly
"What and what?"
"Mathematics and Economics" I said with a tint of shame on my face. How did Austin figure all the logic out on me since? I couldn't answer the question easily. I remembered he destabilized Hyacinth with biology also. Those were his best subjects, I never knew.
"Amara!" Uncle Mike's voice reverberated in my ear, and he continued,
"Your weakness began when you couldn't recognize your weakness, and then it doubled when you couldn't know what you are best at. Instead of you to struggle for everything at once, make priorities, then you would know how far and fast you can be. You were right, you aren't weak practically in any, but to your rival, it was a huge opportunity that even after you surpassed him with about 5 or 6 subjects, he could destabilize you with only two subjects. Austin couldn't say his weak subjects, not that he doesn't have, but comparing it with you, he can't say it before you. Achilles fought everything he could, but only when his heel was cut, his might failed him". Before uncle Mike left, he concluded with an admonition that kept me going in life, and he said,
"One's weak point is ones life. When you are fighting, look for your opponent's weak point, and when you don't find one, create one, and when you can't, use all your best weapons. Austin created two for you when he realized that you had no weak subject. And when you attacked him with other subjects which were not your best, he fought back with his best. He won" After saying this, he left.
You know when thoughts refuse to leave your mind, it will seem as if some people are having their league in it. Our next competition was going to be on 20th January. We didn't travel for xmas that year, because we were still mourning. When Austin came to our house I asked him,
"Did you actually create weak point for me or you discovered it?" And he replied,
"None of the above, I fought with my best".
He fought with his best. I discovered that when one concentrates on his best, he discovers other people's weakness. Our studies continued, after the new year. At class, Nkiru was always besides Austin. He would chat with her. She approached him during breaks. Austin would leave after our lessons without goodbye. He stopped chatting too much and always wanted us to focus on our lessons. Austin came late to our second to last lesson before the actual competition. As he entered uncle Mike's place I greeted,
"Austin good morning!" He ignored me. I presumed he didn't hear me well and I greeted again and louder,
"Good morning Austin!" He replied
"I heard you before". Austin wasn't smiling, he wasn't normal. Uncle Mike turned and looked at him, he turned back and continued with what he was writing.
When I got home I dialled Austin's number six times, but he didn't pick. I couldn't remember offending him.
"What's wrong with Austin" I thought to myself.
