"What's wrong with both of you Austin?" Uncle Mike was asking Austin inside his room. He had summoned him after our lesson. I knew that it got something to do with the way Austin put up appearances to our lessons then. Uncle Mike was a sensitive man and a great observer. He knew when things were no more usual. Uncle Mike had noticed my mood after the lesson one day, he wanted to know why I was no more in speaking terms with Austin or rather why Austin was no longer in speaking terms with me. I knew that I had never got into an obvious fight with Austin, but whatever made him to start avoiding me then was something I couldn't comprehend. He knew how close we were and how friendly the competition had made us. He patted my shoulder and said to me
"I know you guys have had a lot. I know how close and friendly this competition has brought you together. I know how much you cherish your friendship. This is the time you guys really need to be by your sides if you really wish to achieve it to success. I know how you feel about this Amara, don't worry I will talk to Austin okay!"
I couldn't answer him, I just left. He watched me as I left and with the compassionate eyes he gazed at me, I could deduce what was in his mind. He knew I was too emotional. When uncle Mike told me he knew how I felt I thought in my heart "uncle do you really know?" I don't know whether he really knew how I was feeling. Austin talked to me only when it was necessary. He chatted with other girls in school. What I did to him in particular I didn't know. Those times the thought of Austin made me cry because I was losing a friend in him. He didn't know what he was making me endure. He was more than a friend to me.
Out of curiosity I had to move closer to the door to listen to them. I really wanted to know what was Austin's annoyance. When uncle asked him the question he answered
"Nothing uncle" uncle Mike looked at him but he wasn't looking at uncle, then uncle Mike continued
"Austin please tell me, I want to help both of you. Listen I need you both to stay put while this competition lasts. Do you really know that it is remaining only one week to go, are you aware of that?" He asked
"Yes uncle" Austin answered
"Then do you choose to go into this competition with this heart, do you wish to ruin everything?"
"We are not going to ruin anything uncle, we are studying as necessary"
"I know" uncle intercepted "but you guys really need to be in your normal mood as before, you will always get what you want. If Amara in anyway had offended you, you can make me aware. Tell me your annoyance I can help you"
"Uncle for Christ's sake there is nothing wrong. If we are done for the day, can I start going". I don't know whether Austin was already getting offended. Uncle raised his face
"Of course, we are done, you can go" while Austin made to leave he said
"Whatever might be your annoyance, think about it twice Austin. Make sure it worth all the sacrifices Amara made for you, make sure you remember what it was for her to go with you to the competition while she endured her father's death. In case you don't know, I told her that you had given up on it, she followed me because of you. Make sure it worth those happy times you guys shared together. Since my life, I don't think I have ever been interested in relationships, but I saw how happy you guys were, how promising you were, how progressive you were. I took you guys as my children, as my younger brother and sister. I have never been this close to my students before, and sincerely speaking, I don't know why. It might interest you to know that I do not collect any dime from your school anymore. I have chosen to do this on my own because I love both of you, I care about you. I wouldn't be saying this if I don't know the depth of hurt you are causing Amara. Just think about it". Uncle faced his table. Austin stood for some moments, I noticed he was merely trying to control his tears. Myself, I couldn't control mine. As he came out I wanted to leave because they didn't know I was standing besides the door, they thought I already left, Austin jammed me and his books fell on the floor. I immediately rushed to pick them while he rushed to pick them too, our hands lay on the same book. Mine first and his on me, his hand was warm and I wanted to ask him whether he was alright but I couldn't. I removed my hand slowly leaving his hand on the book. He picked the two books and stood up, he didn't look at me and said "thank you", he left. I watched him while he left.
When I got home I was left with nothing other than bad mood and moody face. When my mum saw me she exclaimed "Nne oginikwa?" I didn't respond, I just went straight inside my room. Of course my mum followed me. I didn't want her to follow me but I knew she would definitely follow me and would not leave till I let myself out.
"Nne ogini, kedu Ife obu? Who annoyed you?"
I simply told her "nobody mum"
"What's the problem tell me" she continued pestering me, I didn't know when I started crying. She just held me to her breast and cuddled me.
"Mum its Austin, I don't know what I did to him, he is angry with me". She smiled, and I knew what was in her mind. I was crying because someone was annoyed with me, nevertheless she knew I was too emotional. She had to console me.
"Don't worry, it will be fine again" she said. I loved her to say that, though I knew she never knew how serious I was.
I knew I was always serious, I never believed that I would cry because of someone. I took my phone, I dialled Austin's number four times and he didn't pick up. I looked at my phone helplessly. I pressed the option button, and I chose the delete button. My thumb lay on it for about five minutes before I tapped "delete". His number wiped off my phone. As the days crawled by, I still looked up for his call which never came, I found out that I still had his number off my heart. I made my final resolution, I thought I was equal to it.
The breeze in school hovered around communicating to everyone the imminence of the competition. People were asking us what it was like to be at the stage and perhaps appearing at the television. It already became normal to me. Jude approached me as I walked down the staircase.
"Amara wait!" He shouted. I stopped and looked back eventually waited till he got where I was "sorry if I disturbed you, I know you must be in a mental delicacy even while you walk" Both of us laughed and I asked
"Is everything alright?"
"That's exactly the question I was to ask" he said "I seem to notice something between you and Austin. It seems something is not right"
I had I deep breath and raised my face towards him
"Did you ask Austin?" I asked
"Yes.....he told me nothing is wrong but I know he was lying"
"Lying! How do you know he was lying?"
"Even if he wasn't lying, I'm sure he wasn't telling the truth". I paused a bit and told him
"There's nothing wrong, its just the idea of the competition"
"The idea of what? You both are lying and I can see that in your face. You are just trying to cover an obvious matter. Anyway, I don't wish to take your time, whatever it is between the both of you, just know how to settle it okay?" He said that and turned back upstairs. I watched him till he entered the corridor. I just went down only to see Austin and Nkiru discussing and chatting. I didn't want them to see me, but I found out that I could not reach my destination without passing besides, and so I had to. When I got besides Nkiru greeted me "Hey Amii baby". I had to put up a smile to show that I didn't bother, but right in my heart, I was burning, both with anger but with jealousy. Anger for Austin and jealousy for Nkiru. I greeted back and went on my way. I didn't greet Austin. I knew Austin, in as much as he was jovial to everyone, but there were certain people he would not ordinarily be seen with. Austin likes beautiful things and beautiful girls. I wouldn't say whether he counted Nkiru as one of the beautiful ones though he made everyone feel loved. I doubted, even if Austin wished to make me feel jealous, he wouldn't have chosen Nkiru. He would have gone to those not only pretty but brilliant. He was a type that tries to make everyone feel equal, no matter how beautiful one thinks she may be. I knew I had once teased him about that when I observed him looking at a girl. She was what one could describe as possessing figure-eight in its fullest. The girl counted her steps while she walked
"Austiinn" I called out when I reached him and sat besides him. He looked at me
"Ami how are you" he asked
"I'm good, I just observed you admiring the handwork of God" we laughed
"Which handwork of God?" He asked jokingly
"Don't deny it I saw you" he chuckled
"Anyway, I was just admiring her steps, she catwalks, but she's not beautiful to my liking"
"Abi, and you were admiring her catwalk?" He laughed again
"You won't understand. Forget about the fact that I joke with everyone, I have tastes oh" I couldn't help myself laughing
"My dear please tell me, what is your taste?" I asked and waited eagerly
"If I am to marry tomorrow, she must be beautiful"
"Ah ah, is beauty your criterion?" He chuckled
"There's no two ways about that, its a conditio sine qua non"
"But haven't you heard that good character is the beauty of a lady?" I asked interestingly
"If I hear. Are you telling me that there's no beautiful lady with an angelic character on earth? Abeg spare me that. Beauty constitutes 50% of the whole mark. Which means if you are not beautiful you are already scoring 0/50 and that is failure. I can only accept distinctions in this"
"Oh my God!" I couldn't help laughing "so you deal in grades"
"Of course, and you must get from B3 up". After laughing I asked him
"Which other things make up the remaining 50%"
"Okay... Of course good behavior has 35%. Cooking and smartness got 10%, then miscellaneous achievements 5%"
"But, how could you award beauty up to 50% more than good character"
"Because you must pass exam before you come for interview" I laughed and asked him
"So what if the person passes the exam and fails the interview?"
"Whoever fails an interview in a job offer, what happens to the person?"
"He's asked to go" I answered
"I don't know why you need another answer from me" I started clapping for him. I asked him finally
"What if after all the interviews and no one qualified?"
"If I hear, one must qualify. Haven't you heard of those that send their recruits on a training program, that's after you must have passed the exam. If those the company needs refuse to go to the company, the company goes to them and offers handsome rewards. Amara please enough of your interviews. I'm leaving". He stood up and as he was leaving I clapped for him. That Austin was then vanishing before me.
I became confused what I wanted to do. I became distressed and I made up my mind. I was going to leave the school after the competition. When I reached home, I just told my mum that I was going to change school after the competition. She thought I was joking till she saw how serious I was. She wanted to know why and insisted but I didn't know exactly how to say that. I just maintained that I just didn't wish to continue. The next day, she informed Mrs Nwaforaku. It remained only four days to the competition and the next day was Saturday.
That Saturday was going to be the last lesson day before the competition which would take effect on Tuesday. I was generally excited that I was going to enter flight for the first time to Abuja. The state had paid for everything but the competition board provided the hotel. That Saturday I was packing my jotter inside when Austin rushed inside the room. Perhaps he heard. I looked at him and continued with what I was doing. He stood besides me and said in a low tone
"You.. You leaving the school, after the competition?" Actually I didn't know whether to answer him
"Perhaps it doesn't matter at all". I answered. He stood for some seconds and asked again
"But, are you serious?" He looked apologetic
"Who cares!". I just stood up and went where uncle was "uncle see you on Monday"
"Okay, see you too". I was about to leave and he said to me "Think about your decision, you can always change your heart"
"Yes uncle" I simply replied. I left and saw Austin standing outside.
"Why do you want to leave is anything wrong?" I sneered my face
"For what does it matter, you of all people shouldn't be asking me that" I just left. He looked at me while I left. A greater part of me felt bad why I acted in such a way. I shouldn't have, I felt like going back but I didn't allow myself.
My eldest brother called that evening asking why I wanted to leave but I simply maintained that I be changed. I became distressed all night. Many thoughts flew my mind. The sudden change in Austin's attitude. I wondered why I acted the way I did. I was too harsh. Perhaps I should have asked him for explanation. I took my shower for the night still having my towel around me. My phone rang, it was Austin. I held my phone in my hand and a strong force was pushing me to press the "receive" button, but I didn't. After it rang twice I kept it. I knew he wouldn't call the third time because he doesn't give more than two missed call. Perhaps he knew I wasn't ready to pick up. I kept the phone on the bed just then it beeped, it was a message, from Austin, it read
"I KNOW ITS ABSURD, BUT PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE"
They were only eight words but I read them up to ten times that night. I felt sorry. The urge to reply, to call him back, to hear his voice was strong but I refused. For the last time before I closed my eyes, I read the message again, left it open on the screen, kept it besides my head and slept off. When I woke up, it was still there, but it didn't prevent me from going to Sunday mass. My mum packed my belongings against Monday. We were going to stay just for three days, from Monday to Wednesday. I couldn't wait to see myself enter a flight. Sunday tried to be long but it still went by. Since I entered into the competition thing and appeared at the television, I became a role mode to almost all the children at my vicinity. I often heard some parents said boldly to their children 'can't you imitate Amara, is she not your mate?' There was something of pride in that, but I had to double my comportment. That night I lay at my bed facing the ceiling with the ceiling fan blades twirling in sequence. I remembered all the people that visited me for the day. All the good wishes that spiced the day. I remembered Austin. Some part of me suggested that I call him, I said no but if he called I would pick. He didn't call.
Monday finally came. We came to school on mofty. My mum had my hair packed back and tainted with spotten wave and jelly coil style. Just after then Austin came. Some were looking at us from the windows as if we were going to heaven, especially the junior ones. We had to go to our class and caused some distractions. Teacher biology was in the class. She allowed our classmates wish us luck. We went down. Jude followed us. He called us and we waited for him. When he came he said
"I just want to say good luck. You know we have always depended on you. We hope you represent us well" he waited a bit "I just want to tell both of you that you may not succeed if you happen to go into the competition with this way you guys are now. I just want both of you to remain together especially now, you really need yourselves. Please, forget about your differences. I still wish to see you hug each other on the stage as you did before, it makes the competition romantic" he laughed, Austin smiled, I didn't know what to do but I think I smiled.
"Good luck" he ended and left. Seeing myself alone with Austin yet I didn't know what to say, I started to leave and he said while we walked together
"Were you that angry with me? You couldn't pick my calls"
"I didn't know that you are that appreciative about picking calls"
"I don't understand"
"Perhaps if you had called six times, I would have picked" I knew his mind flashed back those times I called that he didn't pick. His face looked apologetic. We walked a little he said again
"Are you serious you want to leave after the competition?"
"Does that really matter to you?"
"Why do you want to leave?" I chuckled. I wondered why he was so interested. I wondered why my leaving the school caught his interest that much
"Why did you stop talking to me?" He never expected the question. He looked at me
"I...I ....okay, I'm sorry, but you don't have to leave"
"And who told you I'm leaving because of you? You must be joking" I left him.
We went and saw the principal, after his admonitions and encouragement, he gave us some money each and he promised us that if we win the competition, he would send us to shopping. I was glad though I couldn't give him my words that we would make it. I just didn't wish to be negative. He called my name
"Amara, I heard something this morning, you intend leaving the school after the competition, hope you are not serious, are you". I just looked down and answered
"Yes sir"
"Why the sudden change, is there any problem?"
"No sir" I simply replied "it's just a decision". He looked at me
"We will talk about this later". He walked with us to the school bus. Uncle Mike was there with Mrs Nwaforaku, they were going with us. Just then I heard someone call "senior". I looked at the direction it was Vivian. I motioned her to come. She came and hand myself and Austin a success card each. Then she said to me
"All you need is in your card". She ran back to her class because the principal was outside. I looked at her while she went back, I wished she went with us. Just as we entered the car Nwaforaku called us
"Ehe, Amara and Austin, you have a message here". She handed us a parcel. I knew it wasn't money. When we opened it, they were from Mathias and Samuel. They wrote
AS YOU REPRESENT US TODAY, WE WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. WE BELIEVE IN YOU. WE KNOW YOU WON'T LET US DOWN. IT'S GOOD HAVING BOTH OF YOU AS FRIENDS. GOOD LUCK!
....Mathias and Samuel care
They could remember us that day. When we read that I and Austin looked at each other as if we planned it. The car went on.
The journey of a thousand mile that began with a step. I sat with Austin but I didn't care to talk to him. We headed to Asaba Airport, that was the first time I saw a plane as it was. I knew also that it was Austin's first time. My first time of seeing a plane as it was became my first time of entering it. The first announcement was made that we should fasten our seatbelt which I meticulously did, so did Austin. The second was made that the plane was about to take off. And indeed, I saw myself up in the sky. Everything beneath looked little as it dissipated. For the first time I became Airborne. When I thought of plane crash, my heart throbbed so fast. My hand shivered. Austin immediately held my hand
"Don't worry I'm with you". When I looked at him he smiled and said "We are safe here". Immediately my body felt at ease.
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Not edited... I think I'm sick. I'm not feeling fine
