Our journey was quite simple. I thought we would stay long in the air but it was as if we moved from Old Road to Main Market. When we alighted someone approached us, she was wearing a black skirt and a polo which was inscribed ORGANIZERS FEDERAL COMPETITION AWARD at the back, and the polo carried the competition logo at the front besides the shoulder area. It was written in such a way that the center space at the back of the polo contained all of them. She was wearing a deep smile. I just looked around the large Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport that I had been hearing all the while only from current affairs news.
"You are for the competition?" She asked. Seeing the inscription and the logo on her cloth, I knew we were safe.
"Yes" uncle Mike answered
Your state Reg number "she demanded
"Oh! Here it is" said Nwaforaku, she brought it out and handed it over to her. She inspected it, smiled and gave it back to her.
"You welcome, this way" she pointed at the corner. There was a car waiting for us.
"My dear what's your name?" She was referring to Austin and I
"Amara" I answered
"I'm Austin" Austin answered
"Wow, I can see the trophy written on your foreheads" she complimented
"Amennn" Nwaforaku said and uncle Mike smiled. It wasn't anything to me because I believed that that was what she said to all that came, and probably, teachers with tender hearts like Nwaforaku would also answer Amen, and unmoved uncles like uncle Mike would just smile.
We entered the car and while the driver drove us, I looked around and observed things. That was my first time being in Abuja, the renowned capital city. I wondered whether it was the same way that they drove all the schools that came. Anyway I wasn't that surprised, I just wondered whether it was the same country I knew or what. Just then, we drove into a mighty compound with high building. On it was inscribed GREENVIEW HOTEL. It was enormous and magnificent. The warmness at wish those receptionists received us was amazing. I saw some white guys and an Indian lady. She was wearing their traditional gown and the tunic was sweeping the floor, yet she didn't mind. She was just beautiful to behold but Austin didn't notice her. While Austin wanted to turn he matched on her tunic. It drew her back. When Austin noticed he said "oh sorry". She just smiled. Austin looked at her till she left the door. I knew Austin admired beautiful ladies. Just as the lady was leaving the door, some Chinese guys entered in. They were two men and two ladies. I observed Austin's expression. He frowned his face and sighed. I started laughing were I was. Those Chinese ladies in Austin's eyes were nothing to write home about. They were slim to Austin's dislike. They were far from pretty, I wish to confess, although it was obvious looking at them that they were rich. If I were to score with Austin's beauty marking scheme, I would say that they got 23/100, its F. But I didn't know that I was being merciful for when Austin came besides me he said
"God knows I can't be a Chinese. If these people were to be scripts, I would write to them SEE ME WITH THIS SCRIPT. I laughed but I didn't talk to him. When the teachers were done, we were shown our room. Just then, Nwaforaku told us that she wasn't going to be around with us, she had been sent on an errand by the principal. She was going to be around the next day. Before she left, holding both of us she said
"I will try as much as possible to be here tomorrow. If you do not see me, uncle Mike is here with you. Do not panic. Remember always trust your instincts even when the obvious is negative. You have studied well and I'm proud of you. Continue to make me proud". She hugged both of us and then went out with uncle Mike, and only uncle Mike came back to us. I never wanted Nwaforaku to leave. She was like a mother to us. Her presence was a great encouragement. I hoped she would be there present the next day.
My uneasiness began when that evening around 7pm, uncle Mike came to our room and summoned us. The expression on his face wasn't welcoming but I couldn't presume easily. The room that was given to us had two beds, Austin would take one and myself one. We sat at one bed facing him while he sat at the other opposite us. Uncle Mike began
"Austin, Amara, I just want to inform you both, that I'm not going to be here with you tomorrow"
"Uncle are you serious?" I asked immediately
"Yes, I would have loved to but....."
"But uncle what have we done, we need you now" Austin interrupted. He didn't just want uncle to give his reasons.
"I just lost my mum now". I clapped my mouth with my hands while Austin faced downwards. There seemed to be a short silence. Uncle Mike began
"You people have practiced enough, and I believe in you so much". I felt bad and told him
"Uncle we can't do this without you"
"Uncle please we need you to be present" said Austin
"My presence makes no sense okay! You can always do it without me. You can always succeed without anyone, only if you want"
"Uncle this is not matter of making it without anyone, we really need you for tomorrow" Austin said
"I regret to say it. You know how much I wanted to be with you present, but I can't handle it now"
"Uncle but it can wait" I said
"My dear, you know if there is any favor you wanted from me now that I will do it for you. You did it for me when you agreed to follow me, even though you had just lost your father. But this one my hands are tied. I'm the first son and my mother made me promise her that her remains would never enter the mortuary when she dies. I was informed that she slumped at home and was rushed to hospital yesterday. She gave up this evening. I need to go home and ensure she enters the ground tomorrow. Stay well. I just want to ask for a favour" I knew what he was going to ask and he did asked it. We couldn't say anything.
"Uncle!" Austin said "we are deeply sorry for your loss. We can't imagine what condition you are in right now. Go and bury your mum. May her gentle soul rest in peace"
Uncle replied "Amen". There are times when Austin would assume an elderly role, and he acted as one then. Uncle hugged us just like Nwaforaku, we saw him leave.
It was around after 8pm, I was already distressed. I was sitting at the hotel eatery. Austin came and sat with me.
"Here you are, I have been looking for you" I just kept quiet, not that I didn't want to answer but I didn't know what to say.
"Let's go in and try some revisions"
"I'm not interested" I just answered firmly supporting my head with my hand.
"This is not about......."
"Can't you get it, I'm not interested right now" I didn't know when I raised my voice and the people around started looking at us. I just got up and left. I just didn't know what came over me. I went at the back of the eatery, there was a swimming pool there. I rested my head at the wall and felt like crying.
"Amara what's wrong, what's the problem" it was Austin. He asked slowly and gently.
"Why did you let uncle go?"
"I didn't leave him to go" he replied
"You made him to leave, you gave him the admonition"
"Even if I didn't, he already made up his mind"
"You are a liar" I knew I was getting furious for just no reason, yet he continued being patient.
"Listen Amara, I'm not here to fight with you. Do you still remember that we have competition tomorrow"
"Isn't that all you want"
"It has nothing to do with what I want. Its both of us and you know that"
"You are a liar"
"Why are you attacking me this way Amara. We are supposed to be doing revision by now"
"That's all you care, you want to be reckoned as the best in everything"
"Amara something is not alright with you this night"
"Really, who started all these? Who? Who started avoiding each other? Who started neglecting each other? Who stopped talking to each other?" I looked at Austin, he just faced downwards. He remained silent while I spoke and then he said slowly and in a lower tune
"Amara, I have told you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry....I ......"
"Then why did you stop talking to me? Why?"
"Let's forget about this, please I'm begging you. Remember what we have tomorrow"
"I don't care, just leave me alone Austin, leave me alone" I didn't know when the cloud of tears in my eyes released. I held my face with my hands. Austin walked away. I didn't know where he was going. I called him back
"Austin!" He didn't turn back. I was downcast. I was asking myself why I sent him away. I was so sorry, inside me, i felt devastated. I had to run after him but I lost him. I went to our room but he wasn't there. I just sat on the bed still wearing the cloth I came with. I waited for Austin, it clocked nine, ten, eleven and yet he wasn't back. I didn't know when I fell asleep. I dozed off on my cloth.
I opened my eyes and someone was before me. His face was blurred. When my eyes became clear, it was Austin. He was just sitting before me on the hotel room chair, he brought it beside my bed. I dozed off at the outer part of the bed. When I opened my eyes he was just looking at me. He smiled to me and said
"You look beautiful while you sleep". I just looked him in the eyes. I wondered how long he had been staying before me. I looked at the wall clock before me, it was 1am.
"Amara, you will be taking the lead in the competition today". I looked at him, I got up and sat up
"Myself?" I said "no I can't lead, at least not like you"
"You know Amara" said Austin "you were right in what you said. I want to be reckoned as the best. You have always been the best. Perhaps your decisions today might lead us to success"
"Austin I'm sorry for what I said" I apologized and Austin stood up.
"You don't have to be. Get some sleep, we have work in the morning" Austin said, as he wanted to leave I asked
"Why did you stop talking to me, Austin". He stopped and looked at me.
"Amara I....I..."
"Austin please answer me" I requested
"Okay... Okay". He wasn't looking straight while he talked "you want to know why I stopped talking to you. Its because of you...you". He gasped and sat down "You were always in my brain, you were always in my head. I couldn't sleep without thinking about you. I seem to lose my concentration anytime I'm with you. I don't feel comfortable any day I didn't see you or hear your voice. It was obvious I was getting mad about you" he looked down motioning with his fingers, talking slowlier he continued
"I'm aware of all the hurt I caused you"
"You do?" I interrupted immediately
"Yes I do" he rushed in "When I found out that I was getting obsessed about you, I resolved to avoid you. The more I avoided you the more I hurt myself. The more I longed to be near you". When I looked into his eyes they already formed a bubble of tears. When he closed his eyes a drop fell down and I noticed my eyes were also wet. He looked at me and continued.
"I'm aware of all you have endured, it pained me much. I thought I could make things right. The more I tried to forget you the more you were there in my mind. I found out that I was having feelings for you". He paused and continued
"I shouldn't be telling you all these. I wanted to keep them for myself, but you have demanded for my reasons, that I have told you. If I should say anything, then I owe you the truth. I shouldn't have told you this, I hope you are satisfied now. I'm sorry" He made to leave and I called him back immediately
"Austin", he stopped. I stood up and went a bit closer to him "do you know, that's the same way I feel about you". He looked at me and his face expressed surprise but I continued
"Instead of you to stay and face it, you started running away. Do you really know how much you hurt me? Do you really know what it cost to stop talking to you? Do you really know the mark it created in my heart for you to outrightly snub me for just no cause? Do you? Austin do you?" It seemed as if I was getting off myself again. He got closer and said to me
"I'm sorry Amara. I'm really sorry" he got my hands "please forgive me, I love you". Those were magical words, seeing Austin tell me that he love me
"I have always loved you Austin, and you know that. I miss you. But what happens to Nkiru?
"Nkiru is not what you think, she's my cousin"
"Nkiru is your cousin? How? I never knew"
"Myself I never knew too, she is a distant cousin. We got introduced recently. You really know that I can only love one person now"
"And who is that?" I just desired to ask and hear it from his voice.
"She's standing before me now".
When he said this I just threw my arms around him and hugged him. I could perceive his breathing and heartbeats. I knew my problem, my problem was him. I found out that I had given him a part of my heart. And perhaps I held part of his. It disturbs when you love someone but the person doesn't love you back, but it's most awesome when both hearts form sides of a coin. He whispered in my ear
"Amara please don't go"
When I heard it I said to him
"Its already late" he withdrew back
"What's that" he asked
"That was the reason why I was disturbed this night, I received a call from my brother that I will be going over to Lagos after this"
"Amara please tell me you are joking"
"I wish I can" I said finally. He sighed pitifully. I felt for him.
"It's my fault, I pushed you to this". He sat on his bed supporting his jaw with his palm. Immediately his phone beeped, it was uncle Mike, he sent us a text and it read
DEAR AUSTIN, I HOPE ALL IS FINE? I ARRIVED SAFE AND IN TIME. SORRY I DIDN'T NOTIFY YOU IN TIME. TO THE GLORY OF GOD MY MUM HAS BEEN BURIED. I REGRET TO SAY THAT I WON'T BE MAKING IT FOR THE COMPETITION. MY HEART AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. I TRUST BOTH OF YOU. I HAVE SENT A FILE TO YOU, OPEN IT AND RUSH OVER THE WORDS BEFORE BOTH OF YOU ENTER THE HALL, IT MAY OFFER SOME HELP. EXTEND MY GREETINGS TO AMARA AND INFORM HER ALL I HAVE TOLD YOU. LASTLY, I WISH TO ASK YOU FOR ONE LAST FAVOUR, LET BOTH OF YOU BE FRIENDS AGAIN. GOOD LUCK TO YOU MY CHILDREN..... UNCLE MIKE.
I wondered why all those things were happening at that moment. Austin whispered to my hearing
"Uncle don't worry, we have done it for you". I let out my hand and held his right hand, I squeezed it gently, he looked at me and said "Thank you"
I said "for what?"
"For everything" he gasped a deep breath and said "let's check what uncle sent to us".
He opened it and we began to read through them. I didn't know when I dozed off. I woke up around 8am and found out that I was lying on Austin's bed well covered with blanket. Some parts of my body were paining me especially around my ribs. I looked at my bed he was not there. Just then I found a tray on the table containing chocolate and milk, with a jug of hot water and four slices of bread. Besides it was kept a new toothbrush and a paste I haven't seen before. On the tray besides the chocolate was a written note, it was Austin's handwriting and he wrote.
SLEEPERS AWAKE, GOOD MORNING, TAKE YOUR TIME AND PREPARE YOURSELF. WE HAVE BREAKFAST DOWNSTAIRS. I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU. COMPETITION IS AT 11AM.
I just looked at what was set before me, that was a preliminary, the breakfast was downstairs. I came down at exactly 9:30am. I saw him discussing with some guys, it was always easy for him to make friends anywhere even where there were only deaf people. I came around and greeted them, he introduced me and we went for the breakfast. It was serve yourself, he got his before me and sat down at the table. When I came he said.
"I know you dreamt about the competition and that was why you slept long, so which school won in your dream". He said that laughing. I knew he would tease me about that, I really missed his teasing and jokes.
"And how did I end up sleeping on your bed?" I just decided to ask. When he heard he laughed and laughed and laughed.
"What's amusing you" I asked
"Are you scared?"
"Scared about what?"
"You dozed off on my shoulder. I had to drag you up since I couldn't take you to your bed. The AC wasn't that favourable to you so I had to spread the branket on you so that you don't contract pneumonia here, you know those things pains around ones ribs. But you sleep a lot oh" he laughed
"Abeg, is it because you woke up earlier before me today". He just laughed. He could be caring.
It was only when I thought about how all those things began, from the regional level to the state level and then at Abuja for the final level, all the Hurly-burlies we encountered, that I was compelled to appreciate that particular 11am that saw to the commencement of the whole thing. It was something magnificent. Everywhere was filled up with people. We were the only school that was without any teacher. All the participants with the emblems of their state climbed up the stage. I observed as people settled down. The hall was filled with people of the different calibers. Lots of media men and women lined up and were doing their job. The minister for education was present with some other dignitaries. The way flashes of camera light poured on us, it was tremendous. We were told that the program was being presented live throughout the country and beyond. Even radio stations were present. I imagined our classmates watching us, our teachers, the students. I imagined Mathias and Samuel watching us, the All Hallows boys that gave us their opportunity. I imagined Cynthia and her friend from Federal girls Onitsha watching us. How she would be putting herself in my position if they had succeeded. I imagined many others especially those that really relied on us. I imagined our great uncle who was inexorably absent. How best to make him proud was what I was thinking. I searched for teacher Nwaforaku with my eyes throughout the hall, but I didn't see her. There was no one to cheer us up and give us encouragement, not one. I recognized the face of that man, he addressed us again and the competition started.
There was a stage television also, the same procedures at the state level were applied. The 36 states were represented. Thus, the elimination method began. There were supposed four rounds of the competition with ten minutes break. The competition commenced. We began to answer, the type of nervousness that beheld my heart was astounding especially seeing other schools waxing strong. None wanted to fail. I wasn't that surprise because whatever school the state could bring up as their best could be nothing other than their best. I wondered whether we merited to be called the best, I knew truly well that there were many schools and students smarter than us, I couldn't define our existence to the federal level, it could only be Providence.
The first round could only congratulate itself because it was able to dismiss 16 schools from the list. Austin asked me to pick our numbers, I did and when questions were asked, we sought them out and give out an answer in the minimest seconds we had. While the competition went on, I searched for our teachers with my eyes among the audience, but I found none. The second round made sure that ten schools were dismissed. No second chance was offered. For the first time I saw uneasiness in its lucidity spread in Austin's face.
"What's wrong?" I cared to ask
"My dear, its no more getting easier. I think some schools have sort this out. I can't understand why a particular school will continue to pick simple questions here, while we hustle to solve ours. Its obvious we won't make it to the end. Look at, none of our teachers is here. I'm no more getting this". I saw bitterness in his face. If he was emotionally down, I ought to help him, perhaps he knew and asked me to lead
"Austin" I called "this is not the time for this. If you of all people should give up, what of us? What of those watching you right now at different places? What of those who believed in your prowess and made generous sacrifices without looking back. We can't make them regret it okay. If none is here for us, you should know that it wasn't that easy for them. We can't give up right now, let's continue to fight".
Actually, I didn't know when all those things came out from me. I know if it were to be me, that's exactly what Austin would have done. I really have learnt a lot from him.
When we got down from the stage for the second break, that was around after 12pm, every teacher was busy admonishing their students and gingering them to further on, making promises to them, I had to look for the sink to wash my face. Just then a lady approached us. She introduced herself as Mrs Lydia. She said she admired us the way we answered questions. She was from Anambra but she resided in Abuja. She asked of our teachers but none was around. After talking to us, she was a great source of encouragement. The announcement for the 3rd round was already made and we proceeded to the stage. Lydia hugged us and while we were about to leave someone spoke from behind us.
"We are always proud of you" they were our principal and Nwaforaku. There was a flush of joy in our hearts. We rushed and hugged them both. That was the first time I was hugging our principal because in school we were not usually close to him. He smiled and hugged us back. We introduced our new friend Mrs Lydia and it was easier for them to rapport. There was a surge of animation in our hearts. We felt we belonged again. With the new invigoration, we set out for the third round.
When it was our turn, I picked the question as usual and it was thrown back to us. It was obvious that neither myself nor Austin had a slightest idea. The type of time we spent trying to deliberate was unusual
"Austin" I called "is this the final?"
"No" he answered back "the answer is in you"
"I don't understand"
"What do you do when you have no idea"
"I trust my instinct"
"Good, go and give the answer"
"What if I ......"
"There's no 'what if' Amara" he interrupted "we are running out of time".
"God help me" I whispered to myself. A part of me chided me, maybe I could have left Austin to take the lead. When I stood at the mic and my eyes caught where Nwaforaku, our principal and Mrs Lydia were. Nwaforaku had her hands in clapped position and kept to her mouth. It was obvious she was nervous. All eyes were on me
"D.....the answer is D" I answered finally with my eyes closed. The lady presiding the competition said,
"If you knew the answer all the while you shouldn't be spending too much time, you got it correct". I heard Austin said "Yes". I looked at Nwaforaku, she already had her hands down, she must have had a deep sigh of relief. I wished that uncle Mike was present, though I knew he be must watching us wherever he was. I hoped he would be proud of me, of us. When we answered the last question for the section, we found ourselves at the final round. The hall was now divided into two fractions, those in support of Anambra state and those in support of Ekiti state, they were our final opponent. What was considered there was first to lose, the final lap went on a spelling bee.
That particular fear that gripped me when we huddled the last part of our competition with the Federal girls came again since those girls from Ekiti could not relent. The words of Cynthia jingled in my ear "You always found your way out, hope that when you reach the federal level you will find your way out" I hoped so but the struggle wasn't getting funny. Schools that usually give us headache were always those comprised of only girls. They would never give up, I couldn't blame them because we all wanted the same thing. In competition, no one is a friend till it ends. Nevertheless I believed the words of Mathias when he said that he believed that there was something in myself and Austin that would favour our state more than if the Federal girls had represented us, and that thing he believed became true. When Austin finally picked our last question when our Ekiti opponents failed their question, the question was thrown to us and it read,
"Spell xylanthrax". Austin looked at me. This was the same word that gave us victory at the state level, the difference was that then we chose it as an option, but now we were asked to spell it. I nodded he should end the struggle. The good heart of my Vivian was still at work. God bless the day I met Vivian. Austin made it emotional when he started with X.Y.L.A.N.T.H.R.A....... and ended with X, "xylanthrax", we were given a standing ovation, the die was cast and the end arrived. Mathias was right, I realized he was right. In the the midst of the ovation Austin looked back and while he came back towards me, I went forward and threw my arms on him fulfilling Jude's wish while we left, he said "I would like to see both of you hug again at the stage as you did before". I hoped he smiled.
"It's finished" Austin said at last. Our principal and teachers came up the stage, we were celebrated. The effusiveness of the camera flashes that poured on us especially while the Minister for Education handed us our award was not only astonishing, it was capable of making our colour white. We were given scholarship to any level we desired, in any school we wanted, in any part of the world we deemed fit.
Do you know that time, when you feel that certain things, certain positions, certain awards are meant for some people, there are those reserved for you. Just then, we became celebrities. I wouldn't know how TV stations and radio stations looked like till we were invited for interviews.
Austin revealed something to me, I had asked him after we dined with the minister for Education
"Austin! Why did you leave the seminary?" He looked at me with some askance. I knew he wasn't expecting the question, but he had to answer.
"I was withdrawn".
"You were expelled?" He looked at me again.
"I didn't say I was expelled, I was withdrawn".
"So what's the difference between withdrawal and expulsion?"
"In this case, Expulsion has to do with when you break the seminary rules grievously, but withdrawal is when you couldn't meet up with the expectations to be in the seminary".
"And what's that".
"I was withdrawn because I couldn't pass mathematics up to three terms".
"Are you kidding me?"
"You should have asked Mathias and Samuel". Seriously, I was filled with astonishment. Someone who couldn't make it in mathematics in the seminary now carried our day, that was enigmatic. He then revealed his final resolution.
"Amara, from that day I saw withdrawal in my result till we came here, a day has never passed without me solving maths". I never knew. When he used that while addressing our students, people were surprised, it became a source of animation to many people.
"Amara don't go, please" Austin pleaded while we returned. I held his hand and caressed it
"I'm sorry, its already late. My brother has finalised everything. I have to go"
"So we won't see you again?
"Not as if I'm going to die, if we are still alive, we are still together"
"It's all my fault, I can't afford to miss you this way"
"Myself I am worried. Don't worry, we will be fine". I called Austin and informed him that my brother will be coming to take me on Sunday, I requested him to accompany me while I move to the park and he accepted. The last time I went to our school was on Friday, I came on mofty, myself with Austin. We made noise in the class for the final time. Jude approached me.
"Amara, you don't know how you made our day that day. It was like champions league final. It was put for all of us and I had my heart at hand. You gave it to me back" we laughed and I said "Thank you".
"Amara we will miss both of you" I never knew Austin had planned to leave also. When I asked him why, he said he couldn't afford to miss me. I tried convincing him but it was already late. We never saw uncle Mike again, his phone stopped going and when we checked his house and his lesson place, his students reported that they hadn't seen him. I hugged Nwaforaku the last time before I left. The next day was Saturday, while I left on Sunday.
My bags were already packed waiting for the next morning. It was 8pm in the evening. It was heavy on me. I just sat thinking about the next day when my aunty called me.
"Amara, someone brought this for you". When I opened the envelope, it was a calculator, Casio. I could recognize it, it was Austin's. I asked my anty who gave it to her and she said he just left, I ran after him.
"Amara is anything wrong?" My mum called out and I shouted "Nooo". I knew he wouldn't have gone far, eventually I found him.
"Austin!", I shouted from behind. He stopped but didn't turn around. I came closer.
"You shouldn't have followed me" he said still standing the way he stood.
"Austin, I can't do this anymore, I'm going to tell my brother, I'm not going again". He turned and came closer
"You don't need to do that, tomorrow is the day. I just want to say goodbye. All I wish to say is in the letter besides the calculator". I began to feel uneasy and muddy. The more I looked at him the more I felt terrible. I just didn't want to leave again.
"Austin........"
"Amara....." he interrupted me "in everything we do in this life, there must be some sacrifices. There are times you sacrifice everything even that you love most, this is one of such times". Tears were already close at the edge, and when I looked down, it fell.
"Austin...!"
"Amara.......I promised to see you out tomorrow, I found out that I can't do it anymore. I can't see you leave. I never intended to see you here. When you go tomorrow, always be the Amara I know. The Amara I cherish, the Amara I love. Just be good. Goodnight Amara". He turned and was just leaving before me.
"Austin!" I ran behind him and when he turned, holding his face with my both hands and on my tiptoe, I pressed my lips on his. I felt the softness of his lips, it was cool as the morning dew. It was my first kiss, a kiss I think I cherish, a kiss to a worthy friend. Despite the emotional sweetness and the desire not to stop, I endured only for few seconds and released him. Since he gave me his calculator to remember him, I removed my rubber bangles and placed them on his wrist. I whispered in his ear "I love you". My first time of professing to someone. He looked at me, smiled, nodded but didn't say anything. He turned and went away. I stood and looked at his back till it vanished from my eyes. I was left with tears.
I blamed myself for making a haste decision and my brother would not allow me this time. I could have believed that things would be right again, I could have been positive and optimistic like Austin. I rushed into conclusion that did nothing other than hurt me, hurt those I loved and those that I cared most about. Those who made me what I became, those who transformed me into an object of and for love. Even while I rest my head at the window of the luxurious bus, my mind could only wallow in deep thoughts. My dear Mrs Nwaforaku, a great mother and friend, my dear uncle Mike, a caring brother and a great teacher, my dear Vivian, whose instrumentality God employed when it seemed impossible, Mathias and Samuel, whose sacrifices had bought us the chance, I couldn't repay them, Cynthia, my namesake from federal, for her last words that encouraged us, we always found a way through, my cherished classmates whose love was highly unbounded. Lastly, my dear Austin, the thought of you changed me for life. You indeed are a great friend, I will always miss you. You are too good for me. Hope we see again. It was only when a drop of tear dropped on my arm that my brother asked me
"Amara what's wrong?" He didn't understand
