[b] 1. BIAFRA THING [/b]
Osibanjo: Baba, Olamide of YBNL Said That He runs mainland, should I go and arrest him before he starts something like biafra?
Buhari: Don't worry, I will handle his case personally.
Buhari: Olamideee, finally we met. Are you the guy that wants to start something like biafra in mainland?
Olamide: No sir, It was a joke.
Buhari: You get luck, DSS for show you wetin fire dey do with rat ear.
[b] 2. MIKEL SCORES [/b]
Osinbajo: Mr. President, Mikel scored today?
Buhari: Which Mikel?
Osinbajo: John Mikel Obi of Nigeria
Buhari: What did you drink last night?
Osinbajo: I swear, him score. It was a corner. Mfonobong Abel Ekene Even confirmed it on his
facebook
Buhari: MY VP, That means change have catch Mikel and football
Osinbajo: Yes, change has changed Mikel
Buhari: Did Chelsea win?
Osinbajo: No, them beat them two one, last minute goal
Buhari: Did the ref give them extra extra time?
Osibanjo: No.
Buhari: That is corruption, we must fight it
Osinbajo: How?
Buhari: They must replay the match. Call EFCC Chairman for me.
[b] 3. PASTOR PRAYS RECHARGE CARD INTO PHONES [/b]
Osibanjo: Baba, A pastor just prayed recharge cards into phone?
Buhari: How?
Osibanjo: He prayed and recharge card entered his member's phone
Buhari: Do they teach that in pastor school?
Osibanjo: No sir.
Buhari: Technically that is stealing, he stole from MTN and others. It is corruption, let me call obj.(on phone)OBJ, I heard that a pastor prayed credit into people's phone, did something like that happen when you're president?
OBJ: Nooo, it didn't happen, pls handle this issue carefully oo, you know that people are criticizing you already. Why not call Jonathan? Many weird things happened when he was in power.
Buhari: Ok, I don't want that man to corrupt my line but I think I need to call him, thanks for the advice, I will call him and buy a new line afterwards(hangs up, dials GEJ)Hello Jona, have you heard that a pastor prayed recharge card into people's phones?
GEJ: Yes I have.
Buhari: Is that not corruption?
GEJ: It is called magic, not corruption Mr president.
Buhari: Do you know what magic can do to a broke country? Didn't you watch Merlin?
GEJ: Magic is not corruption MR president, if you think say nah lie, ask Deziani Ali-(phone clicks)
Buhari: Nonsense, ask Deziani kee, you for tell me to go book appointment with corruption itself. (turns to Osibanjo) pls buy me a new line, this one is corrupt, pls tell the DSS to arrest the Pastor and detain him until all his church members return the looted credit.
[b] 4. PASTOR TURNS BOTTLEd WATER TO WINE [/b]
Lai Mohamed: Mr president are you on YouTube?
Buhari: No, my Facebook is not working, what is happening on YouTube?
Lai: A PDP pastor just prayed over bottled water and it turned to wine and he sold 10 thousand bottles of it to some members of his church.
Buhari: For how much ?
Lai: 2k per bottle.
Buhari: That's exploitation and corruption. Did he register the wine with NAFDAC?
Lai: No Mr President.
Buhari: Then tell DSS to arrest him immediately for selling fake and unbranded wine to vulnerable Nigerians. I will contact NAFDAC chairman immediately.
