You may be a leg man—or a breast
guy—so there’s a pretty good chance
you’re ignoring the sexiest female
organ of all: her brain. “Many guys
crash and burn in their quest to be a
great lover because they forgot that the most important part of her body is
her mind,” says Reef Karim, MD, autho
of Why Does She Do That? Why Does
He Do That? and the director of The
Control Center, a sex, drugs, and
relationship treatment center in Beverly Hills. Follow his advice on
stroking her head, so her body will
naturally follow you into bed. Be patient. When you have a new girl’s attention and you’re working to
close the deal, don’t rev your engines
prematurely. “You don’t want to come
across like a predator,” says Dr. Karim.
“No girl wants to hook up with a
creeper.” To avoid that vibe, don’t stare too much—particularly at her
lady parts—don’t be too touchy-feely,
or get too physical too soon. “When a
woman is worried you could hurt her,
it’s over. So much of her enjoyment is
about feeling safe.” Think about ambience. Girls instinctually appreciate that candles
and mood lighting are romantic. That’
probably not your own natural
instinct, but it’s an easy angle that
steers girls in a sexy direction. “Guys
don’t care if candles are lit or not,” says Dr. Karim. “We don’t care if it’s
dark and we can’t see or if all the light
are on.” But girls may be more
insecure about their bodies, so setting
the lighting so that it’s dim enough
that she doesn’t have to be overly self conscious will up your odds of a
steamy night. Play to her sense of smell. A pleasant aroma—mixed with a
cocktail of pheromones—goes a long
way toward turning everyone on,
since your olfactory sense is the
strongest. “Incense and natural smells
are always better than cheesy cologne,” says Dr. Karim. “Drakkar
Noir is now a repellent like mosquito
spray.” Individual smell preferences
differ from woman to woman, so
impress her even more by asking if
she prefers the scent of sandalwood, roses—or a garlicky tomato sauce
instead. “A little research into what sh
likes can go a long way in the
bedroom.” Turn on some tunes. The music need to go with the theme of the night, but
it shouldn’t be too distracting. The
focus should be on you and her, not
your own personal playlist. “Death
metal may turn you on, but it doesn’t
turn on many women,” says Dr. Karim. “I think music is less specific than
smells. You can throw on some Sade
or Barry White, and at the worst she’ll
think it’s cheesy, but at least it’s not a
distractor. There is certain music that
goes with a little bit of romance, but other music is a turnoff.” And again,
asking her what she likes to listen to i
a surefire way to impress. Find common ground. Before you launch into your come-back-to-my-
place lines, talk about shared
moments from the night you’ve
shared. “For women, it’s all about
mood and timing, and sex talk too
early is a big risk,” says Dr. Karim. So much of the seduction talk is a dance.
“You meet a woman in a bar, and she
knows it could go somewhere—and
so do you—so roll with it. Eventually
you will get her back to your place,
but don’t talk about it. If you tell her she should see your bed, it looks like
you’re predetermined, and for a
woman, that usually ruins it.” Be confident—not egomaniacal. There’s a very fine line between the
two. “Confidence is rooted in, ‘I am
comfortable with myself and I believe
in what I’m doing,’ and being ego-
driven is primarily based in insecurity,
says Dr. Karim. “Confidence comes from the inside out, and ego is coming
from the outside in.” So don’t brag
about your sweet wheels or that
you’re tight with a hot-shot club
promoter, let the cool things about
you leak out more subtly. A guy with humility is far sexier to a woman than
a show-off. “The guys who are most
comfortable in their own skin get the
most women. A six pack doesn’t hurt,
but it’s not necessary.” Make her laugh. Appealing to a woman’s sense of humor immediately
ups your odds of getting her to have
sex with you. To wit: Russell Brand is
almost frightening to look at, but you
can’t argue his success in the sack.
Just make sure she’s laughing with you and not at you. “Unless clowns
are a turn on for her,” says Dr. Karim.
But even if you’re being funny, if you
come across like you’re reciting a
guy’s pick up manual, you’re going to
blow it. “Be yourself. Unless you’re a douche bag. Then pretend you’re
someone else less douchey.”
