[color=orange]THE UNSTABLE LOVER[/color]
This is a true life account.
Have you ever been in love before with someone who ticks the right boxes? Who rocks your world? Whose appearance, words, kindness, attention shown to you, worth and dreams make you believe that love is for real. Have you ever found that person who fills you with so much hope that make you believe your dreams and visions concerning love can be lived here on earth in full? A man or woman who wants what you want from love? Some say such persons do not exist; that all such dreams are fanciful tales from Mills and Boom. They almost had me believing the same until the 30th day of September 2013. I will never forget that day.
[color=green]My name is Lilian Ezeobi and this is my story.[/color]
I had turned 22 on the 10th day of May 2013 and for reasons beyond me, I could not shake off the assailing thoughts about my future husband and what marriage could be for me. The thoughts become so strong that I had to confide in my mother. There were nights those days when I woke up from sleep, panting desperately and trying without success to put brakes on my thoughts about my future husband and marriage. “Perhaps God wants you to pray about your marriage,” my mother had said after I woke her up to narrate my ordeal to her. “I can’t agree more, but I sense deep inside me that I should talk to our pastor about it,” I said, sweating profusely. My mother pondered it for a while and grudgingly gave in with a tacit, “It’s okay.
Talk to him.” My mother liked to do her job first as a mother before bringing anyone else in. She felt bad that I had robbed her the chance to do her job by choosing to talk to my pastor long before she even had the chance to help me. I knew how bad she felt, but I was afraid about my experience. I felt like I was losing my mind. The thoughts were compulsive as if something was making me think them. No matter how much I tried not to, I found myself daydreaming about that man who would sweep me off my feet with love in my marriage. My pastor’s counsel did not help me much, rather it added fuel to the re burning in my mind. “Your thoughts might be just a lead-up to what God is about to do. That man may be coming right now. Are you ready for him? I believe God wants you to be ready,” my pastor said. His words left me breathless.
That moment I wished he had not said those words. It was as if the thought in my head took on life and became much more forceful. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep them out but that didn’t work. “What do I do now pastor?” I asked. “Pray that you will not miss him. Pray that you too will meet each other. Pray that the lines will fall for you in pleasant places as he comes,” replied my pastor. That I did. For three days I battled on my knees in prayers, and after that, the invading thoughts ceased. That was to me an indication that God had heard my prayer. I went back to living my normal life until the 30th day of September 2013. I was working back then as a sales girl at an electronic store in Ikeja.
I will never forget; it was 12:25 PM in the day when he walked in Once our eyes met I felt my world lit up I was not the person to attend to him My will never forget; it was 12:25 PM in the day when he walked in. Once our eyes met, I felt my world lit up. I was not the person to attend to him. My colleague Bunmi was supposed to do that, but much to everyone’s surprise he pointed at me and said, “You, would you mind showing me around, I want to buy washing machine, a gas cooker, a deep freeze and maybe a small sound system?” I had to look around me to make sure I was the one he was pointing at. He smiled…oh his smile took my breath away… and added, “Yes you,” pointing at me. Bunmi walked away blinking at me mischievously. I walked over to him and greeted him with a quasi dobale (a bow).
You should have seen us while I showed him around the shop. We giggled, pinched each other, told jokes and even poked fun at the look of our heads. At one point he said something funny and I laughed so loud that he had to put his hands over my mouth. By the time he left our shop, he had bought tons of goods from us. It was as if he bought everything I pointed at and suggested he buy. Of course the usual happened, we exchanged phone numbers and social media contacts. When he left my colleagues joked that I had struck pure gold. For me it wasn’t the money he seemed to have, but his person. He spoke to me respectfully and played a lot. I love to play! I had seen people walk into our shop and talk to us like we were street urchins and paupers, he was different. When I got home, my face was glowing, and at the same time, I was afraid he would not call.
About 8 PM in the night his call came in. The sound of his voice made butteries utter in my stomach. We talked, and talked and talked. To an average person in my family he was an old friend who had reconnected with me. In the course of our conversation, I found out that the things he bought earlier that day were not necessarily his and so also the money he spent. However, I figured out from his words that he was from a rich home and was living by himself. Months later, our chance meeting transformed into a steady, love-filled relationship. I literally took ownership of his life and was glad to let him have mine. He loved me like no man will ever do. Every noon, he had food sent to me from Jeviniki.
Most times I would come home and meet a flower on our dining table waiting for me. My mom would smile and point at it. He bought me loads of stuffs and took me to places I had not dreamt off. It wasn’t just that he loved me with gifts, he also loved me with words. He spoke the kindest and most romantic words my ears have heard. It got to a stage that I had to tell my mother that if he asked me for sex that I would give it to him. You need to understand how much a big deal sex was to me then. I was a virgin. He would cook for me in his house, and sometimes he would spoon feed me. The way he kissed me made me wish he would never stop. I caught him several times looking at me as though he would devour me like food. You know the way a man who finds a woman attractive looks at her. Ladies understand.
The manner he looked at me, made me think sometimes that Tiwa Savage would be classified as ugly when compared to me. Please am not exaggerating here. He knows how to make me feel super awesome by his mere look at me. To cut the story short, my boyfriend never asked for sex. Never! I know he is not gay because I have turned him on several times. Yet, he never asked me for sex. At the seventh month of our relationship, he mistakenly sent me a message with another girl’s name on it. My world came crashing. I had to pick a taxi that night and went to his house. I wanted to know what was going on with him. I wanted to hear him tell me it was all a joke. I wished he would explain it away in a manner that would not leave fear preying on my mind. He began by telling me how much he loved me and his words made me cry. When he was done arming his love to me, he admitted that there were OTHER GIRLS in his life.
I could not understand how I owned his life for seven months and I did not get a hint of it. He told me that he loved me more than the other girls and had not slept with anyone of us. According to him, he was afraid of committing to any girl BECAUSE HE LIVED IN FEAR OF GIRLS. That was the reason he never put pressure on me for sex. He said he did not want to be INDEBTED to me by sleeping with me. My ears were stung by his words as I sat listening to him.
That night, I cried myself to sleep in his hands. When I woke up in the morning, he apologized to me and promised to get rid of the other girls, weeks later he kept his word and got rid of them. I have the proofs he did, so am not wrong about this. However, even though am the only woman in his life, he still won’t commit to me. By that I do not mean having sex with me. (He still has not had sex with me). He tells me he loves me and yet he is afraid of living permanently with any woman as his wife. Marriage makes him afraid.
I have been with him since September 30th 2013 till this day. I feel like I have the best man in the world, but he won’t give me his heart. I am still haunted sometimes by the fear that there might be other ladies getting his attention. The fear kills me. When I confront him with my fears and suspicions, he would let me have his phones to check if I would find anything suspicious in them. I have access to his e-mail, I know all his passwords. I have not found anything that tells me he is unfaithful to me. Why can’t he tell me we will be together forever? I fear that If I leave him, I will be permanently damaged. I am sure no one can love me like he does. But why can’t he tell me he will marry me. I know every single soul in his family, so far they have not given me any reason to think they don’t see me as a perfect wife for him. I am dying on the inside. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if to stay or leave him. I am lost.
This is a true life account, only the name of the writer has been changed to protect her identity.
[color=red]THE END[/color]
