[b]OPEN LETTER TO MY UNBORN KIDS; Little Temi and his sister.[/b]
Dear prince & princess of the saint's empire,
Hope you guys are doing fine with 'bros J' & co. on that side. In celebration of this year's #WorldSaintDay which is only 2days away, I thought to reach out to you as pertaining some important issues.
Firstly, this is not a very good time to cross you over to this side as there's no light in my current location. And the heat? I'm sure God must be preparing a special 'hell fire' for sinners from this side - cos we all are used to heat already and the current hell might not be much of a punishment anymore...(just saying). Anyway, I have a generator (4 gen-sets, actually) to combat this problem, but there's no fuel to power them. (We can just put that blame on Buhari shaa; our Change master planner)
Secondly, I wouldn't want you to get here and grow up taking Pap (Ògì/Akanmu) or Eba. like I did when I was growing up. There are alternatives oo, but then, they are very expensive right now because of one dullard ...sorry, Dollar.
That said, I know I'm only on this side but my supply is from your end. 'Bros J' has always been responsible for that. As such, the two issues raised above are not the main reasons for the delay in crossing you over.
Actually, I've been ready for a while now (or rather, somehow ready sha) but the MAJOR reason for the delay is that we have been looking for your mother up & down for a long time now. Rumour has it that she's still doing 'chic' and playing hard-2-get.
We have sent out several search parties to look for her without success. I have personally attended countless weddings (& instead of concentrating on my job as the MC of the wedding, I keep checking out the chief bridesmaid and bridal train) all in search of your mum.
I looked through the FACES on FACEbook.
Tweeted at the sisTERs on tweeTER.
Said WHAT'S UP to the babes on WhatsApp.
I followed every ESTHER on INSTA-GRAM to be my maDAM...
...& decided TO GO to 2go...
Even to woo all VALENTIKAS on COOLVAL but all to no avail.
Look! If you can influence things from that side, tell 'Bros J' to tell your mum to calm down with this hide-&-seek she's been playing with me ooo. It's in your best interest that you do that... because by the time you get here and your 'mates' are in primary 2 when you're just getting into nursery 1, it will be on record that I tried my best. It's not my fault.
I have to go now. I need to go and continue the search. In fact, one babe just passed now. Make I go check whether na your mama be that.
Don't worry, I'll write you again to give you situation reports.
Yours in the Saintkenz Kingdom
smiLe;JesusLuvsYou...temí_saintkenz®
